Age no barrier to finding love

Pop star Raageshwari took the pressure of getting married very sportingly, and decided to get married on her own terms

We had nearly given up on Raageshwari, the popular pop singer, actress, model and former VJ. The time was passing by and it didn’t look like she was in a hurry to get married, and wasn’t getting any younger over the years. It’s a little tough sometimes to be a girl in India. There is pressure to marry early and how do you hold out until you’re certain you wish to walk the aisle These were my thoughts when Sudhanshu and Raag looked into each other’s eyes dreamily while doing the pheras (wedding ceremony). We were throwing flowers on the couple, and I was trying to calculate her age, 40 something I was guessing

So quite obviously there was a pressure to walk the aisle She shares, “I took the pressure very lovingly as I knew that the thought was well- intended. I took relationships very seriously and knew in my heart that I will surely find someone who will synergise with my sensibilities. It is interesting that I participated in Bigg Boss to give a boost to my career. And as fate would have it, my email and phone was flooded only with marriage proposals. So I’m glad that people wanted me to get married and thought I’d make a good wife.”

Some of us have the inner instinct or extra strength to say ‘no’ when a proposal is offensive or impolite, feels Raageshwari. “While sadly, some women give in due to pressure, strife within the community or some personal battle. I pray in gratitude that I simply had the wisdom or vision to decide for my future. I feel girls who have had to struggle or resort to the casting couch are brave too. I know for sure that they may have immense pain within on a daily basis,” she adds.

“I did not date casually. I was happily single and everyone who met me knew this. I chose not to worry about the absence of someone. As soon as I started interacting with Sudhanshu over our first email, I was drawn towards him. His words, his finesse, his refined sensibilities and his humility immediately made me want to be his companion for a lifetime.”

Talking about the qualities she was looking for in her ideal man, she says, “I should simply look upto him. When he is hearing you, he is totally with you and not zoned out of the conversation. He is someone who speaks softly and smiles genuinely. I’m overwhelmed by the fact that I chose Sudhanshu to be my life partner.”

So it was a long distance relationship to start with, which is challenging. Raageshwari, however, seemed to pull it off well and it all ended in a ‘happily ever after’. “Sudhanshu and I clicked over the exchange of emails. Long distance relationships can flourish too, if you’re ‘800 years old’ like us. As long as there is a plan to move forward, there is a vision, there is a goal. Sudhanshu and I interacted in the virtual space for months and I asked him to wait and enjoy this courtship period of words. Then he flew down to meet me.”

But there was growth, consistency, patience, immense respect and trust. So if the foundation is strong, a long distance courtship can work too. I don’t recommend a relationship that’s long distance. Get together and bring beauty into each other’s life. Raag’s shifted lock, stock and barrel to London. “It does require great discipline and of course, immense love to make the shift. I was just very happy to follow my man to London and he follows me emotionally. So there is a spiritual balance.”

The author is a luxury consultant and lifestyle columnist. You can mail her at nishajamvwal@gmail.com