Finally, a space for the older gay men

An initiative started by two Mumbai based LGBT activists has provided a platform for elderly men in the community to meet and connect over coffee and conversations.

Elderly gay men in Mumbai will soon have a platform to connect over a cup of coffee and conversations. An initiative called Mumbai Seenagers, started by veteran LGBT activist Ashok Row Kavi and city-based Dr Prasad Dhandekar is all set to create a community for men older than 55-years of age to socialise with each other.

Ashok Row Kavi

Loneliness is a problem which plagues the lives of most older gay men in the city, and the group aims to tackle it by providing these folks with a platform to voice their concerns, reveals the founder of the group 70-year-old Ashok Row Kavi.  “I’m nearly a 70-year-old gay man. Now, that I’m looking around at people of my tribe, I realise there is so much tragedy and loneliness in their lives. They don’t have a place where they can find peace. Some of them did not get married because they did not want to ruin a woman’s life while others have grown up children and don’t want them to know their truth. So, essentially, they have nowhere to go,” Ashok says.

The duo realised that the older gay community also has problems in networking. “The idea to is to bring them together under one roof and solve those problems. When Ashok suggested the idea, we realised that there are communities for young LGBT individuals but nothing for old men. We also plan to get some youngsters on board and ask them to volunteer with us,” Dr Prasad reveals.

The group by no means wants to nudge or force old gay men to step out of the closet. “The major issue is they are not out in the open, and the problems that married gay men face are way different than single gay men. If they want to come out in the open, we will surely help them. We are not here to judge these people, but to help them lead their lives as gracefully as possible,” says. Dr. Prasad.

The meetings will be a private, confidential affairs and the location won’t be disclosed to the participants. “We don’t want them to feel unsafe and want to create a sheltered zone. We will give them a pick-up location, and from there they will be escorted to the meeting spot. If our volunteers find anyone unsuitable to attend the session, they will be politely asked to leave,” he asserts.

Their first meeting will be held next month and has seen some significant progress as people have responded well. “It will be a need assessment meeting, and we will try to figure out what things we lack and will prioritise those. We also plan to get experts on board — mental health experts, yoga experts and financial experts to see what can help them,” he says.

The challenge will be to keep the group alive and going. “Ashok suggested the name Mumbai Seenagers, the second word a combination of Senior Teenagers. Once the old boys regain their lively, rebellious streaks, they want to be young again. Though these men could be staying with their families, there are chances that they may still be very lonely as they don’t have a friend or a confidante. We want to create a buddy relationship, where they can meet like-minded people and go out for a coffee or chat with someone in times of need and combat that loneliness,” Dr. Prasad concludes.

Write to: mumbai.seenagers@ gmail.com to be a part of the initiative.