I never thought I’d say this even in my head, leave alone in cold, hard print, but I love the Establishment. Not in a like-a-brother way, not in a I-love-you-but-I’m-not-in-love-with-you way, but with full passion. Exactly the way it’s described in the romance novels of the 70s, with the Establishment all tall, dark and brooding, and me all coy and girlishly virginal, never mind that I’m 47 years old and in the throes of a horribly hormonal menopause.

That’s because the Establishment has suddenly come over all sensitive and eager to make women feel like little girls, or at least that’s how it seemed last week when the Election Commission decided that the only way to get the female population of Goa to vote in the assembly polls was to create pink voting booths and hand out teddy bears.

It was a masterly move. First, it really did get women to visit the voting booths (also men, goats, snakes, cattle etc., but never mind that) even if it was only to gawk and wave at news cameras.

Second, it subtly set the scene for Valentine’s Day on the 14th, making teddy bears for grown women an Establishment-approved gift that even the Shiv Sena cannot have fits about.

And third, and most important, it told the world and us that India is no longer living in the 11th Century, just before Somnath burned, or even before 11,000 BC, when the country was the world leader in plastic surgery. It showed that it is now located somewhere in the 20th century when genders were divided by the colours pink and blue, and rainbows were visible only by refraction.

Though this colour scheme as announced by the EC had feminists seeing red, I think it is quite heartening, because at least the country is back on the right side of time, even if it hasn’t quite got to the 21st century as yet, and may not even get there till at least 5035 in terms of equality.

Because, let’s face it, there’s nothing significant about pink. It’s more or less a washed-out shade of red, and in fact, according to Wikipedia, up till just after World War I in Europe and the US, it was the colour that was used for boys because it was so flamboyant, while soothing blue was the colour for little girls.

Frankly, I think the EC would do well to have pink voting booths all around the country. This is for three reasons. The first is the aesthetics mentioned above. The second is to allow Indian women to point and laugh at heterosexual men — you know, those big, strong, invincible people who spend their lives being terrified that even a glimpse of an allegedly girly colour like pink will totally cut off their twig and berries. And finally because, before the gay community adopted violet, indigo, blue, green, yellow, orange and red as their signifier, pink was the colour it was known by. I also think that the EC should continue to hand out teddy bears to grown women, and also to men of all but heterosexual male persuasion, because, let’s face it, in a country as patriarchal as India, we all need a comfort object. After all, it’s going to be a long, long time before we get equal human rights, no matter who we vote for and what colour our voting booths are, that’s for sure.