Shobhaa De | Shaadi Power: Big Fat Weddings Alive & Well

One thing is for sure. Political shaadis are far more challenging than organising a G-7 summit. So much avian activity… baap re baap!

Birds of a feather flock together at a grand venue wondering about the pecking order: will it be enforced strictly by the hosts? Or will kites and eagles flit freely around the ballroom to fake-mingle with kabootars and sparrows? How many fair-weather friends will pose for the paps: hugging, kissing, feet-touching for the benefit of onlookers?

Will the knives be visibly out for rivals daring to display proximity to bigwigs? Who will be neatly stabbed in the back? Ousted? Which luminary will win the Chief Chamcha Award at the function? The brazen opportunist jumping from one camp to the next, pretending to be everybody’s best friend? Or the discreet networker, nudging reticent powerbrokers to meet and greet the next VVIP who was making a grand entrance?

All this and much more was happening at this season’s most watched wedding -- the opulent shaadi of Revati Sule (daughter of Supriya and Sadanand Sule) to Sarang (son of Arun Lakhani). Since it was a large public function attended by thousands, very little can be considered off-limits by attendees: what with dozens of presswallahs swarming around. Such is the inherent nature of political alliances -- nothing can be camouflaged and everything is out there in full public view. But the one thing that was noted and widely commented on in the media was the impressive turnout of political bigwigs who came from a wide spectrum of dramatically divergent ideologies. Why the surprise?

Let’s start with the Big Daddy of them all.

Presiding over the beautifully put together nuptials of his beloved grand-daughter was the stately grand old man of politics himself -- Sharad Pawar, seated on a comfortable sofa, receiving a long line of invitees, nodding and smiling at a few, ignoring most, while his gracious wife Pratibha looked on expressionlessly.

Guests speculated: Will Prime Minister Narendra Modi put in an appearance? Will Melody toffees be distributed? What about the Union home minister, Amit Shah?

That didn’t happen. And as a cynic commented later: “Why would they even bother? They don’t need Sharad Pawar any longer.” This is a totally galat observation. Everybody needs Sharad Pawar. And there are no exceptions. Others of his age may have retired sensibly and blended into the woodwork. Not Sharad Pawar. He’s right there: destined to outlive rivals and adversaries half his age. God bless him! It’s naïve to underestimate Pawar’s power in India’s constantly shifting political scenario.

Loyalties change faster than soiled bedsheets. But Sharad Pawar goes on, undeterred by the political blows that could destroy a lesser person. He has weathered devastating storms stoically and survived countless political battles. Going forward, no matter how his fragile health holds up, Sharad Pawar will be there: a political force nobody can afford to ignore.

That much was undisputedly evident at the wedding.

People chattered about the presence of RSS supremo Mohan Bhagwat seated near the stage. But why? The groom’s family is from Nagpur. The groom’s father is a seasoned politician with his businesses in Nagpur. Nagpur protects its own.

Ummmm… Rahul Gandhi attended. Significant? Yes and no. But a cute guy in a white tee definitely stands out in a grandiose setting filled with men in Swarovski-studded sherwanis.

But the asli show stoppers were the Paithani saree-clad Vahinis.

Maharashtra loves its feisty vahinis (brother’s wives) -- those amazing, ambitious ladies who don’t allow anything or anyone to stop them from achieving their political goals: not even personal tragedies. Apart from the gorgeously dressed Vahinis, there were lovely young Tais (sisters) in becoming designer lehengas. There was also an army of Bhau-log (brothers) and Dadas (older brothers), but the Bro Code was sadly absent: each one was hustling and jostling solo. Some had brought personal video-graphers as a part of their entourage, and were busy throwing their arms around startled strangers as the cameras whirred to capture every moment. Good strategy! If the paps and social media ignore your presence -- no worries.

Shoot your own Insta reels with celebrities and circulate them widely.

Back home, gullible, awestruck mandali will be impressed enough to believe you are best friends with Mukesh Ambani, Gautam Adani and many others. Of course, the Poonawalas attended. But where was Lakshmi Mittal? Did anyone spot the Birlas? No? That’s okay. The Delhi crowd was definitely under-represented… No Shobhana? But Kashmir was visible: thanks to Farooq Abdullah.

Musical chairs anyone?

Socio-political gatherings that cross party lines are choreographed with the precision of a Bolshoi ballet. There’s nothing accidental about any of the arrangements. From the seating plan to the entrances and exits of VVIPs, an enormous amount of strategic plotting is at play. Who to avoid! Which person to hug? Make eye contact or no eye contact? Feign instant amnesia? Wave to nobody in particular across the room and rush away. It’s a crazy scramble to be seen, noticed, acknowledged, validated.

Kho Kho is a popular sport in Maharashtra. Kabaddi, too. But Catching Cook rules. Chor Police is tougher, since everyone wants to play “police”, even if the “chors” dominate. Nowhere else can one enjoy watching healthy sporting contests of this variety than at the big fat desi weddings featuring a glittering cast of thousands.

To quote from an 1848 speech delivered in the House of Commons by the then British Prime Minister, Lord Palmerston: “We have no eternal allies, and we have no perpetual enemies. Our interests are eternal and perpetual, and those interests is our duty to follow.”

Pity, the poetry and philosophy of the original has been reduced to the far more banal maxim colloquially used in business and politics -- the shortened version: “There are no permanent friends and no permanent enemies: only permanent interests.”

Farooq Abdullah will no doubt agree.

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“Welcome to the Jungle!” You too, Amruta Fadnavis. Keep astonishing us with your sequinned, bejewelled lewks each time you step out… to sing, dance… even do yoga in a neon green body suit!! Can't get enough! MET GALA? What’s that? Our Red Carpet is ever ready for Maharashtra’s first lady.