Anita Anand | How to Behave in all Public Spaces: When Will Indians Learn Basic Norms?

As India evolves and develops, questions about what constitutes the public and private have become more urgent. Our primary focus remains on the public.

As a society, we have never been good at distinguishing between private and public spaces. One reason might be that we lack privacy in our homes. Traditional and even modern joint family systems often involve multiple generations living closely together, frequently in large households. For those who can afford it, there is live-in household help, which leads to more varied living arrangements. There is little opportunity for privacy. In urban settlements, overcrowding and scarce space are common. What is private often becomes public.

This lack of privacy and unacceptable public behaviour did not bother us until recent decades. Technology, the Internet, and increasing wealth have given us the ability to be private. Take mobile phones: we like to use them (a private convenience) in public on speaker mode, watching cricket matches, reels, and films at full volume on small screens in places like restaurants, shops, streets, and other non-private areas. Nobody has taught us that it is inappropriate to do so, and we may be disturbing the peace and being inconsiderate of others around us in public spaces.

A common complaint is that Indians don’t respect personal space. When standing in queues, they tend to get too close to the person in front and crowd them. They worry they might not reach the front of the queue.

We are accustomed to crowds in sacred sites, queues and for transportation like trains, planes, buses and roads. As a highly unequal society with income gaps, there is a common feeling of deprivation. The growing middle class and the wealthy can avoid crowds by paying a premium or having others do many uncomfortable tasks for them. Despite our wealth and status, we believe that the pie is limited and that we must keep pushing forward to succeed. Otherwise, we risk falling behind.

I grew up in the 1950s and 1960s in rural and small-town India. There was no pushing or shoving of any kind due to the low population density. However, public urination, defecation, spitting and loud talking were common. Even then and now, there is an acute lack of public toilets.

We are still noisy, fearing we won’t be heard above others talking, in large families, on busy roads, and in crowded places. Noise pollution is high in India.

The public behaviour of Indians often lacks etiquette, which is a set of rules for polite conduct in social situations and public places, showing consideration for others. These unwritten rules guide how we interact in ways that are considered acceptable and appropriate.

Citizens in the West usually learn this at home, in educational institutions, and through good governance.

As more Indians travel abroad to countries with clear rules for public behaviour, such as littering, using public transport, respecting queues, and eating or drinking in public, the question arises: why can’t we behave this way? When we see Indians acting in an unacceptable manner, we feel outraged and ashamed at the same time. However, many Indians are quite unfamiliar with travel and public behaviour norms. Those who have recently started travelling also lack experience. They behave abroad as they do at home.

As a diverse nation, can we expect a single style of etiquette? Our religions, foods and customs vary significantly across regions -- north, south, east and west. There are some guidelines for private life, such as which hand to use when eating, who eats first, where alcohol is permitted, and norms regarding hierarchy and family control. These all mostly relate to religion and patriarchy. However, there are no fixed rules for public behaviour.

Public life then becomes an extension of home life. When away from the control of family and elders, we act like spoiled children given freedom for the first time. We are genuinely unaware that we are in a public space, and should behave accordingly. Our privilege and caste training enable us to litter, spit, shout and be aggressive in public places, oblivious to others around us.

If we want to, how do we agree on and develop norms for good public behaviour? What is good etiquette? What incentives can promote good public conduct? Some advocate civic education in schools, which is a promising idea. However, the family is the first institution that an individual experiences. How do parents become good role models? How do we educate parents?

Agreeing on basic public behaviour is not difficult. It takes time and persistence to develop civic sense. Fines and disincentives for anti-social behaviour have proven ineffective because those responsible for enforcement often ignore them.

Given the size and diversity of the country, innovative and clever campaigns should be developed to appear on the social media, television and radio advertisements. Visual media can be used to highlight examples of good civic sense and public behaviour. Public hoardings can also be utilised.

Until then, the privileged middle classes and elites can serve as good citizens and set an example for those who lack exposure and make excuses for their absence of civic sense.

As Indian society evolves, it is gradually shifting towards a more individualistic culture, moving away from a family-centred one. Individualism requires privacy, which families often distrust and discourage.

Modernity calls for a change in attitude, which takes time. Changes in norms of private and public behaviour cannot happen automatically; they must be done intentionally and deliberately. Thoughtfully and strategically.

The writer is a development and communications consultant