2 mad men and a 40+ conversation

Cyrus Broacha and Kunal Vijaykar talk about a man’s mid-life crisis, the country’s political scene and one’s right to opinion — of course it’s not as intense as it sounds.

Television’s funny men Cyrus Broacha and Kunal Vijaykar apologise for being tired and sleepy as they enter the room at Raell Padamsee’s Colaba home. The house doubles up as a rehearsal space for her production house, which brings out their latest revue, 40 Shades of Grey (Hair). They’ve been up since 5.30 am, they tell us, scripting their daily television show. Before our meeting, they’ve scripted an episode, recorded it in the studio, had a photo shoot, and worked on the publicity for their play while gathering fresh material for their TV show on the following day. But once the conversation starts rolling, which is about a second into their entry, the two launch into full-throttle banter, showing little signs of an ungodly start, or a long day to follow. Excerpts from an interview:

Your news entertainment show has gone on to become a daily from a weekly. Is it because there’s much matter to spoof and not enough time Cyrus: Indian news now is changing every few minutes. When we were a weekly show, by the time we went on air, people had already forgotten about the news we were addressing. Unless it’s path-breaking story like Agusta Westland that stayed for the entire week, it disappears in 24 hours. Indians have learnt to just switch off. Your scandal is forgotten, you're back in parliament.

Is it safe to say that politicians are your favourite punching bags Cyrus: Yes, if you are the movers and shakers running our society, we will critique you. Having said that, politicians are the most secular in India — their only desire is for power and money. In many ways, they are the ideal citizens because they are pushing commerce, they are pushing the acquisitive nature of man and in many ways that’s how nations go ahead. Kunal can definitely be a politician. He looks like one also.

Would you be open to politics Kunal Kunal: Whatever you say about politicians — good bad or ugly — fact is they all work really hard to be successful. Which is why, Rahul Gandhi will never be a good politician -—because he enjoys life too much. I am like him and that’s why I will never be a great politician. If I were born in the right family, then it would've been a different story. Cyrus: If he (Kunal) becomes Prime Minister I’ll pack my bags and go to Switzerland. All my life I have had bad ministers but this will be just too much. I’ll pack my bags and never come back. Kunal: For that reason alone, I want to become one now.

What about you, Cyrus Would you like to join politics If I become the Prime Minister, there’ll be some serious changes. I’ll throw all the haters out of the country. I hate haters. Dog haters, for instance. There will be few people left, like Rocky Yadav. Rocky was in Delhi, he didn’t do anything. Who said he was in the car Just because everybody saw him and he has a gun license issued in his name And he disappeared for a long period after that What’s wrong with you

Are you critiqued for your material on air or political leanings in your spoofs Cyrus: We have no political or personal leanings. We aren’t loyal to anyone. Kunal: We get ‘trolled’ all the time. There are people calling us right wing, Congress chamchas Cyrus: But actually we are NCP. Sharad Pawar all the way.

How do you react to trolls Why do you think there are so many of them suddenly Kunal: We have learnt that you shouldn’t take the Internet too seriously or people’s reactions on it too seriously —whether it’s the love or the hate. Firstly, I don’t know why everybody should be allowed to have an opinion. Does everybody need to have one This opinion concept is highly overrated. It’s particularly high with men above 40. They are people with mid-life crisis who suddenly have access to social media, they want to be heard but their children don’t want to listen to their fathers anymore. Unless he has a good job where a few people report to him, he will look for other avenues to vent out and we have to suffer. Cyrus: They are very quiet men off line, but when they get online, they’ll be like ‘I knew Aristotle’s pop who married Premchand’s daughter and now I will spew,’ to show that I am the literary, politically conscious types. And they literally spew! It’s scary.

Men above 40 are also the protagonists of your new play. Is it autobiographical then Cyrus: Yes it is! These are our problems. Kunal: I am way above 40.

What do you think of the book that inspired the title of your play — 50 Shades of Grey Cyrus: That is completely producer Raell’s fault. We wanted to call it In Dog Years You’ll be Dead. I thought that’s a far funnier title. 40 Shades of Grey was pushed on us. I hate it. I wanted to read the book because of all the buzz around it. So I read the first 40 pages diligently and nothing happened. It’s just the female protagonist going up and down in the lift. Then when I got to the naughty part where the boss takes her and suggests his dominance, I realised this is really slow. If you’re used to porn, this is really slow. I think the book spends too much time building the set-up. For someone who has grown up on great literature of our times like the Human Digest, Penthouse, Mayfair, it can't compare.

Will we ever see you guys doing straight talk, with straight faces — veering into comic territory Kunal: I am not as funny as he is. But people like my producer or the guy shooting will tell me to do something funny-even when I am doing a food show! I am trying the whole day to write something funny and pulling these faces, now let me do food as if a food thing. Why funny For me it’s a little more pressure. The need for appreciation is a little less in me as compared to Cyrus. At the end of the day if cheques are coming to me, I am happy.

What makes you happy, Cyrus Cyrus: I have no interest in anything. This girl who works with us—Kaneez—and Kunal were having a conversation and she said ‘nice shoes’ and I thought, I have just no empathy or sensitivity towards people who like shoes. I am a philistine, I think. I like cricket, I like the Beatles, I like dogs, I like weight training, I like sex. I used to like alcohol. I have no other interest. I think I am a caveman.

Play premieres on May 21 at NCPA