While you may never anticipate your relationship to go awry during your early days, what do you do when the break-up gets ugly Relationship experts weigh in...
While you may never anticipate your relationship to go awry during your early days, what do you do when the break-up gets ugly Relationship experts weigh in...
In just the past three months, Bolloywood has seen a host of celebrity break-ups — Arbaaz Khan-Malaika Arora, Hrithik Roshan-Kangana Ranaut are among a few names that ended their relationship. But while breakups aren’t unheard of in Bollywood, what’s common among these recent splits is that these couples didn’t exactly have a clean breakup.
Recently, Malaika did a no-show at Arbaaz’s sister Arpita Khan’s baby shower and even walked out of the TV show Power Couple, which the duo was to anchor together. The incidents set off speculations in the industry. And more recently, Hrithik and Kangana have slapped legal notices on each other with Hrithik charging Kangana of stalking him online and seeking an apology from her. Kangana retaliated by claiming that he hacked into her email account, as it would have complicated his divorce proceedings. Relationship experts we spoke to, tell us that there are a few ways to end a relationship without getting your swords out.
Life coach Milind Jadhav observes that when a person in a relationship decides to call it quits, the other one feels powerless and hence makes desperate attempts to save it. He says, “A decision to end a relationship means that the partner cannot accept this significant other for who she/he is. The inability to accept this often causes people to get dramatic. People choose to make things ugly when they want to be seen in a good light — it is a way to assert righteousness.”
While one never anticipates a breakup from the start, life coach Veechi Shahi explains that it helps to place all your cards on the table when getting into a relationship. She says, “Be honest from the beginning of the relationship — discuss every matter, be it physical, sexual, emotional or mental. Voicing your expectations will help the partner be on the same page. If you are married, it also helps to have a prenuptial agreement — it saves a lot of energy.”
Relationship expert Seema Hingorani says if the partner chooses to make the split public, ignoring the partner’s action is the only solution. She says, “A clean breakup is a myth. Discuss with your partner about your need or your decision to end your relationship. You may not love that person anymore, but you need to treat him/her with respect. Once you have decided to call it quits, it is best to switch off from the relationship. Mud slinging won’t help anyone — no one benefits from that kind of negativity. Put an end to it by either bringing in a mediator or call them personally to let them know about your views.”
Life coaches admit that bidding goodbye to a relationship is often difficult, but there are a few dos and don’ts to recover from post break-up trauma. Life coach Chetna Mehrotra elaborates, “Most people make the mistake of leaving a text to their exes enquiring about their well-being out of humanitarian desire. Convince yourself that it has ended and you are now a stranger to your ex and vice versa — understand that you will take a few months to get over it completely. Even MS Dhoni isn’t talking about the loss against the Kiwis; learn from your skipper. Go easy on yourself; and you will go far.”
