I’m so happy that you love me so much,” said a wife to her professor-husband on their wedding anniversary. He replied, “When you say ‘so much’ are you referring to intensity, depth, quality, quantity, frequency or duration ” Like that professor, many of us tend to reduce love to a commodity that can be manufactured, measured and manipulated at will. By contrast, Pope Francis’ latest document, Amoris Laetitia — Latin for the “Joy of Love” — sees love, sex, marriage and family life as “great gifts of God” to be relished and be thankful for.
Pope Francis is earnest about church renewal. Rather than produce theories and doctrines, his approach is spirit-inspired, people-centred and oriented towards the common good. His detractors dismiss him as being unsettlingly liberal; but Francis is rather “radical”, reaching down to the roots to clearly instruct believers on what’s important and what’s not.
Love, sex, marriage and family life find rootedness and rationale in God. Pope Francis writes: “The couple that loves and begets life is a true, living icon capable of revealing God the creator. Therefore, fruitful love becomes a symbol of God’s inner life.” He proposes the Holy Trinity as a model of communion, and the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph as epitome of familial, fruitful love.
In dealing with cases of marital failure, Pope Francis exhorts church leaders to be less condemnatory, more compassionate; less legalistic, more realistic: “Avoid judgments which do not take into account the complexity of various situations People should not be pigeonholed or fit into rigid classifications, leaving no room for personal discernment.” Believing that people can evaluate situations and take wise, moral decisions, he reminds ethicists: “We are called to form consciences, not to replace them.”
Christianity is sometimes critiqued as being a joyless, guilt-inducing creed opposed to anything sexual. Pope Francis contests that by stating that true love engenders deep joy. He fearlessly speaks about the “erotic dimension” and the “stirring of desire” in love relationships, which promote the welfare of those who love deeply. Doesn’t loving others promote the joy of families and society
Today, when love, sex, marriage and family life are prey to many aberrations and attacks, Pope Francis’ tone is encouraging not only for married couples, but also those engaged, expectant and unwed mothers, adoptive parents, widows, aunts, uncles and grandparents. He desires that no one feels excluded from God’s love.
Rather than wasting time on discussing the quality, quantity, depth, intensity, frequency or duration of love, we would do well by truly loving one another as God loves us. Wasn’t Saint Augustine right when he wrote, “Love God and do as you please” Indeed, if our love is genuine, we can never go wrong.
Francis Gonsalves is a professor of theology. He can be contacted at fragons@gmail.com
