The 40-page diary of Chintan Upadhyay which was recovered by the police from his Delhi house, sheds light on the mental trauma he was supposedly experiencing due to his broken marriage.
The 40-page diary of Chintan Upadhyay which was recovered by the police from his Delhi house, sheds light on the mental trauma he was supposedly experiencing due to his broken marriage. In it, he had explained in nine points the reasons why he had to leave Mumbai. The artist even wrote that his wife was suddenly misbehaving with his friends.
“It’s been a long time when a laugh give happiness to my heart, and she is always ready to fight with me (sic),” reads the diary, which is now part of chargesheet that was filed by the Kandivali police in court in connection with the Hema Upadhayay and Haresh Bhambani double murder case.
In another entry, Chintan claimed, “I can’t finish the smallest task like going for walk or reading, this is what exactly Hema wanted to do to me or worst than this.”
Chintan was apparently very upset over the regular court hearings following his divorce battle, as he had to visit courts almost every month, which made him travel often. “Actually she (Hema) never been sensitive to people, she always used people for her benefits,” he had written. According to Chintan, his wife had never loved him and he never felt loved. In a note on February, 22, 2012, he wrote, “A case in the court can make a person animal who is wild and just want to kill.” In his diary he had written about the problems he faced every time while dealing with lawyers and the case that was filed by his estranged wife.
Chintan had also mentioned, in 2012, that for the last four years the couple hardly had anything left in their relationship and wondered why she was not divorcing him. He mentioned that after they had shifted to their Juhu apartment, Hema preferred to stay in their Gorai flat only and, after coming to Juhu again, she kept on going to the other flat. “She moved to court over the obscene paining issue and divorce but there she said she loves me and don’t want to leave me. Even judge was amused by it,” an entry read.
“She used to fight and was abusive my staff and me in the studio,” he had stated. “Her professional insecurities has taken every part of life and her bitterness for everything just grown,” read another entry.
The diary depicts Hema as vengeful and reveals that Chintan had feared that Hema could frame him in a rape or domestic violence case. He was also upset over the fact that she had labelled him a criminal who made pornographic images to trouble her.
His writings also state that he wanted to clear her doubts, and he wanted to distance himself from her family, which is why he had decided to sell his Baroda-based property.
Excerpts from chintan’s diary I have not done any thing wrong to Hema since the time and separated but she always ready to fight with me, she doesn’t leave the house. I feel she just want to destroy every thing between us. Anyhow I have to discipline myself and start finding a way. I hope I do it. I hope I can remove all negativity and make a happy environment.
It comes every month even I don’t want to see it so again I have to open the case file, study it again and find a clue or fault. A case in the court can make a person an animal who is wild and just want to kill. In most cases animals attack keeping itself in a position that it is saved from getting hurt but human is the only animal who can destroy self to destroy other and the purpose is very clear.
As I could not sleep tonight, for long time, I was thinking of my divorce and why Hema who doesn’t care for me wants to take revenge and punish me. For what She herself, wanted to divorce and we made draft also the way she wanted. She then changed, and provoking me to abuse her so she can use it as a reason.
First time I think about the future I feel uncertain, how come I become so, I have been confident to do what I want and wanted and now I can’t finish smallest task like going for walk or reading. This is what Hema exactly wanted to do to me or even worst. Many times I think why people want to hold on to you even when they don’t love you.
