Wednesday, Aug 21, 2019 | Last Update : 12:31 PM IST

Energy Vampires

THE ASIAN AGE. | NISHA JAMVWAL
Published : Mar 8, 2019, 3:15 am IST
Updated : Mar 8, 2019, 3:15 am IST

Stop ‘coping’ with the energy vampire. The narcissist is a person who saps your energy and this is what you have to beware of.

There are people you feel exuberant and vigorous around, while some deplete you.
 There are people you feel exuberant and vigorous around, while some deplete you.

It is often that we don’t even know that we are in a narcissist empath relationship, and last week we spoke about waking up to the reality if you have a narcissist in your life. That’s the first step to getting out of the narcissist empath vicious cycle. Stop ‘coping’ with the energy vampire in your life dear empath and get a life by recognising the signs that you are unknowingly accepting tantrums and constant demands from the narcissist. A child is made to believe they are wrong and made to suffer guilt by the manipulative behaviour of a narcissist. The narcissist spouse is  manipulative by nature and behaves in a way where the empath feels that he/ she is responsible for all that is going wrong with the narcissist and in general. The know-it-all narcissist boss puts all the blame on the empath and feeds on the guilt and fear created as a result in the empath employee.

Narcissists are sensitive only for themselves and selfish by nature whereas empaths are sensitive to other people and very giving by nature. I’d say the empath has to consciously work on themselves to train themselves to even give judiciously and in a premeditated manner. Quell the urge to be the giver at all times, learn to receive and be gracious about it. It is a drain to be the contributor to the relationship at all times, as you begin to feel used and exhausted.

An interesting technique I use, being a giving and sensitive person myself, is creating a protective light shield around me, from negative people and thoughts. Narcissists tend to suck energy and time. Once again I’d say give and share carefully. Of your time and energy too, not only of material things. There are people you feel exuberant and vigorous around, while some deplete you. The narcissist especially is a person who saps your energy and this is what you have to beware of. If it is a close relative, spouse or boss whom you cannot quit, then spend minimum time with the energy vampire. Train yourself to be less vulnerable to such a person and work on other nurturing relationships.

Have you noticed that you sometimes get angry with people and things after an interaction with a narcissist? It is because you have absorbed negative energy and anger from them. Train yourself to identify the discomfiting anxiety and angst and purge these feelings before your next interaction. It is unfair to you, and other relationships in your life to carry forward the frustration and negative energy of the selfish narcissist to other avenues and relationships of your life.

A magic cure is when you spend time alone to recharge yourself or with nature. Silence and meditation is a sure shot way to heal and let go of a rancid relationships that sucks your soul. Start detaching, because that is an important part of growing out of the draining narcissist empath cycle, at least mentally and emotionally even if to do so physically may not be possible. Rumination, introspection and reconnecting with yourself is more important than connecting with the narcissist. When you find you’ve spent a large part of your life with a narcissist it is important to find you- you’ve lost yourself with the selfish demanding narcissist. Begin by knowing your own requirements, resist pandering to every plea of the person you have become used to pampering- whether it is the ego of that person or the wants.

For me what works is the ability to converse with oneself and hear oneself. Develop that dialogue with you to attune you to some of your own needs. Listen to yourself and use the energy shield method to hold off  the flow of the negative denunciation by the Narcissist.

Growing out of a Narcissist Empath relationship is not easy and takes much self-control, training of the mind and is an exercise in personal growth and strengthening oneself. Being the giver is all very wonderful, but even giving and sharing must be for and with the right people.

The writer is columnist, designer & brand consultant.

Mail her at nishajamvwal@gmail.com

Tags: narcissist, anxiety, meditation