Thursday, Sep 19, 2019 | Last Update : 04:10 PM IST

Lessons on life

THE ASIAN AGE. | NISHA JAMVWAL
Published : Feb 1, 2019, 6:05 am IST
Updated : Feb 1, 2019, 6:05 am IST

Relationships across sexes are not rosy all the way and a little hand-holding can help people communicate better.

There is increasing intolerance, aggression, turmoil, turbulence, and pain, being observed amongst the youth, not to mention hormonal, emotional upsurges and even suicidal depressions strewn across the path of these “romantic
 There is increasing intolerance, aggression, turmoil, turbulence, and pain, being observed amongst the youth, not to mention hormonal, emotional upsurges and even suicidal depressions strewn across the path of these “romantic" relationships.

My friend calls me up, giggles and gurgles. I am mystified -- I'm in Austria and she's called across seven seas to explode in mirth?

“I had to share this with you, you 'relationship' folks might make a thesis of it, but we simple people are getting our day's entertainment.  A university in China is offering a course on ‘pick-up’ techniques! And there are even classes on ‘how to entice the opposite sex’!!”

This university, it seems, believes that young folks need to be assisted in "the theory and practice of romantic relations" with separate prescribed formats for boys and girls. One of the well-known professors is Xie Shu, a professor at the University of China.  His latest way of teaching a new subject includes pick-up techniques, self-presentation and how to entice the opposite sex. Trust the Chinese to go right at it.

There is increasing intolerance, aggression, turmoil, turbulence, and pain, being observed amongst the youth, not to mention hormonal, emotional upsurges and even suicidal depressions strewn across the path of these “romantic" relationships. Certainly, those who are bewildered, stressed, confused, might benefit with guidance. A more balanced adult society might also result, with lesser disruptions, divorces and unhappiness.

Our Oriental societies have traditionally frowned upon the 'forward' intermingling of sexes. Added to this is the fact that these days offspring are numbered at two or as in the case of China, just one. Consequently, concern for others, sharing, caring, adjusting are not always as natural as the focus is more on the self. Things have crossed to the other side, where the young need help in attuning to healthy natural bindings between the sexes now, and those around, too.

So is it a lost art?  Relationships across sexes are not “roses, romance and valentines’ all the way. The path can be fraught with unnecessary and painful deficiencies and misconstructions.   After all, forming relationships, handling breakups and all the stages in-between can do with right counsel, especially in the present times where it's observed that exposure to adulthood is earlier and physically too children are maturing younger, but minds may linger behind.   What comes to mind, and is the crux of the matter is that indeed universities can take up this neglected subject as a study course.  It’s not that flippant a matter. If a boy learns how to make friends with a girl and a girl learns to build friendly bridges across sexes, I feel issues such as eve-teasing, molestation, harassment, could be lessened. On a more routine note, for me personally, it would also inculcate good manners in a man, and a woman might learn to handle male attention with equipoise. If she might not find the attention welcome, such ‘classes’ might teach her how to diplomatically discourage the male advances rather than overreact and break ties. Sometimes, it is just a case of subtly sending a message and politely discouraging advances which might not be desired.   

Nisha JamVwalnishajamvwal@gmail.com@nishjamvwal

Tags: intolerance, university of china