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  Life   More Features  25 Apr 2018  The Mind Cleaver and his Bedmate

The Mind Cleaver and his Bedmate

THE ASIAN AGE. | ARCHANA DALMIA
Published : Apr 25, 2018, 6:36 am IST
Updated : Apr 25, 2018, 6:36 am IST

Hunky Dory Inc. had to be run in a certain manner. Hunky wanted profit at all costs.

The story has a tragically Orwellian climax, in which the people of Boondocks  looked from the Mind Cleaver to his bedmate and from the bedmate to the Mind Cleaver not knowing which is which. (Representational image)
 The story has a tragically Orwellian climax, in which the people of Boondocks looked from the Mind Cleaver to his bedmate and from the bedmate to the Mind Cleaver not knowing which is which. (Representational image)

Down in the Boondocks, Hunky and Dory ran a successful enterprise called Hunky Dory Incorporated. But it’s true that they were an interesting couple. It is also true that the people of Boondocks were quite peculiar.

Hunky the hunk was a nasty fellow. He was heartless, rude and selfish. He could sacrifice anyone for his own benefit. Dory had long eyelashes and a winsome smile. And it would seem that her heart bled for the unfortunate. From morning to evening she ran Hunky Dory Inc. like a benevolent Queen. Hunky took all the hard decisions…

So if someone had to be sacked, if the budget had to be cut, if people had to be made to suffer, it was all Hunky’s doing. While Dory stood around helplessly, smiling sheepishly, giving Hunky looks of appeal and begging for mercy. She would even weep while addressing her minions and workers.

But, come night, Hunky and Dory would be back home sharing the same bed. Comfortable in each other’s company, and setting the agenda for the next day.

People thought Dory was such a fine thing, that she was our kind, that whenever Hunky did something really, really heartless, she would step in and keep Hunky from having his way.

So if according to plan, Hunky some day, went as far as to threaten the very existence of someone, people were heard saying Dory wouldn’t allow it. Meanwhile, Dory would wait. Wait till Hunky’s decision was accepted and forgotten in which case she would not have to reverse it, or if in the off chance the protestors really got noisy and angry, she would put her foot down publicly and disagree with Hunky, making a humane intervention on behalf of the people.

It would be just another infringement on peoples’ freedom gone bad.

Hunky and Dory had both watched the well-known film Mohan Joshi Hazir Ho! Hunky would look at Dory with ownership and authority and laugh at how similar they were to the lead characters in the film.

Naseeruddin Shah and Rohini Hattangadi were lawyers on opposite sides of a case, but in secret they were lovers who were in cahoots with each other. They were bedmates, sinister in design, planning each move together, at the cost of the hapless people who depended on them for deliverance and justice. The end of the movie had the beleaguered client of Naseer, pull down a misleadingly propped up structure over himself, dying in the bargain. In his death, he proved how right he was and how corrupt the system is.

Hunky would take of his gold-rimmed glasses and wipe them, to look at the simpering Dory more clearly. They were partners for sure.

Hunky Dory Inc. had to be run in a certain manner. Hunky wanted profit at all costs. Even if it meant pitting one group of workers against the other, even if it meant playing one set of managers against the other, even if it meant manipulating everyone around him. You see, Hunky wielded a mind cleaver. It was his biggest weapon. It was more powerful than a meat cleaver. His weapon could cleave a nation in half, not just men. This cleaving was of utmost importance to him. He knew that a company divided was far weaker than one where there was unity in the ranks. Hunky wielded his mind-cleaver unscrupulously. He drew bloody lines across the vista- one through what the people of Boondocks wore, one through what they ate, one through whom they worshipped. With each line he pitted one group against the other. Like I said, the people who lived in the Boondocks were peculiar. They were swayed by the front Dory projected before them. Everything Hunky and Dory did was for their benefit, the foolish folk thought.

In Hunky and Dory Inc.- Hunky was implementing their common agenda, but sometimes Dory had to necessarily disagree with him, to keep her image of being humane intact. They knew it was a matter of time before the Union became active against them and a new board was put in place. Hunky paced up and down. He knew the time had come to hit man where he hurt the most. In his heart. A posse of vile people were set upon a poor man’s heart and they ravaged it, tearing it to pieces, shouting cries of victory. The agenda was clear… but Hunky’s plan backfired.

The people of Boondocks watched in horrified silence, purple and lavender coloured ribbons that had turned a bloody red from the blood of the man’s heart, which was torn asunder. Their silence broke into an uproar. Dory was watching. She knew she would have to do something.

And so the bedmate broke her silence. Everybody wanted her to talk. She had been silent all along. But looking very mindful and even brooding alternately, days after the dastardly act, she was at a conference call with her national managers and suddenly started talking about the Mind Cleaver’s last cruel act. She didn’t directly condemn it, but her employees were empathetic, even congratulatory, praising her for her large heartedness and tactfulness. And her masterful way with words…

She said in a cracked voice: “I am aware of some recent developments and quietly my heart has bled. I want to make it clear that such acts will not be allowed.”

And someone even thought he saw the flash of a tear escape the corner of an eye. The conference room exploded into spontaneous applause. She pushed her chair back and disappeared into her chambers, reminding herself to let the Mind Cleaver know later that night that their latest adventure/ experiment had backfired and that she had to speak.

Smiling inwardly she told herself: “There will be more, there will be more.”

The story has a tragically Orwellian climax, in which the people of Boondocks  looked from the Mind Cleaver to his bedmate and from the bedmate to the Mind Cleaver not knowing which is which.

And the wind whispered chillingly through Hunky And Dory Inc.

“There will be more, there will be more…”

The writer is the chairperson of the AICC grievance cell. The views expressed here are personal.

Tags: mind cleaver, hunky and dory