A confusing touch is one that doesn’t quite feel safe, but you don’t know for sure if it is unsafe.
Did you know that you are the boss of your body? Let’s break this down a bit. The word boss means the one in charge. And so, when I say that you are the boss of your body, it simply means that you are the one in charge of your body! When you are in charge, you get to decide who comes close to you and who doesn’t.
One of the important things you should keep in mind, and let children know, when it comes to your body is the concept of touch. Very simply, touching means when two things come in close contact with one another. When it comes to our bodies, there are three kinds of touches: safe touches, unsafe touches and confusing touches.
A safe touch is one that makes us feel safe: like when your mama touches your forehead to check if you have a fever, or your papa pats your back for getting a good grade in math, or your teacher shakes your hand to congratulate you. An unsafe touch is one that makes us feel unsafe: like when someone pushes you or pinches you, or when someone trips you or scratches you. An unsafe touch is also when someone touches your body in any of these three places: your chest, your bottom or the place between your legs. These three parts of your body are your private parts, and nobody is allowed to touch them.
A confusing touch is one that doesn’t quite feel safe, but you don’t know for sure if it is unsafe. For instance, if a person touches any part of your body and you don’t know if you feel safe although the touch doesn’t directly hurt you, it is confusing.
Whenever you find yourself facing an unsafe touch or a confusing touch, you need to follow a simple rule called “No-Run-Tell.” This means, that you should say NO to the person who is touching you in an unsafe or confusing way, and then RUN to a safe adult, and then TELL the safe adult what happened.
Also, it is wrong for them to ask you to touch their body, it is wrong of them to ask you to show your private parts to them, and it is wrong of them to show you their private parts. When any of these things happen, remember, No-Run-Tell.
The author is a women’s rights activist, peace activist, artist, lawyer and writer