Learn from difficult people

The most difficult people in our lives are our greatest teachers as they hold a mirror to unresolved issues within us.

We often hear or say things without realising the truth. ‘XYZ is so negative’ or ‘I feel someone’s negativity is affecting me and I feel drained.

What is negative to you? For most, it’s someone you don’t approve of or maybe someone whose energy threatens you. The fact is that no one is negative, they are just difficult people only because they aren’t in sync with your perspective.

There are two wolves residing within each one of us and they are in constant battle with each other. Wolf of evil — fear, greed, jealously and insecurity. Wolf of goodness — love, compassion, kindness, trust. Which one wins? The answer is simple: The one you feed the most.

In today’s world, most of us are victims of social media. We all spend so much time worrying, trying hard to compete or fit in, seeking approval or fishing for compliments... but one negative comment from someone and our whole world crashes.

We are in an illusion that we actually know people only by a few exchanges of messages. When we are unaware of our true self, how can we know another?

Here are a few tips to help you realise that the difficult person is no longer difficult.

Stay calm
Once you are in alignment with your mind, body and spirit, you can sail through the most testing times. Tap into your inner power and hold your head up high. Many people walk with their head down without realising that they are unique.

A lot of people want us to react, fight back and fall into their trap. How you react is your choice. If someone is angry at you, it has nothing to do with you because most of them are dealing with their own issues. Speak the truth but be silent within.

If someone has an opinion about you or has posted a negative comment on your wall, rather than saying, “Oh gosh... I think they are envious of me and blah blah...” pause and think. Maybe that person is going through a tough time or is just bitter. You have to consciously remind yourself that it clearly talks about his/her state of mind.

You have to question yourself: Am I happy where I am with all the insecurities and fears bursting out every now and then? Aren’t you tired of constantly playing the blame game for all your unpleasant situations? The fact is that many people whom we call negative are basically holding a mirror and rather highlighting all the unresolved issues within us. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this? Thank them for helping you be your greatest version.

Put yourself in their shoes. See where they are coming from — a difficult time, marriage, unpleasant childhood, financial crunch, etc. Once you are able to see that, you shall rise above it all.

If you feel someone’s not on the right path, it’s better to give advice and then withdraw. Rather than arguing and getting stuck in another person, it’s most important to be firmly rooted to your inner self.

How you are going to distribute your energy is your choice. We are constantly dealing with people at work, friends, relatives who know how to push our buttons. Rather than spending so much time on how you dislike a certain person, remind yourself that it’s not the end of the world.

Don’t waste your energy on people who serve no purpose. Shift your focus to things that make you happy.

Everyone on this planet is unique and everyone behaves in a different way. You can’t please all. You have to accept that your not getting along with a certain person does not make the person negative. It’s just that your energies aren’t compatible.

You have to learn to take responsibility of your own emotions when dealing with difficult people. Once you take charge, you free yourself.

Always keep the inner smile and humour alive. It works like magic. Smile and be grateful for all the things in your life.

The writer is an aura reader and counsellor. You can contact her at

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