Mumbai girl faces online harassment, posts to name and shame offender

For a Mumbai medical student, a Facebook chat turned sinister, when a long lost acquaintance from childhood whom she knew from her dance classes started making unwanted advances online.

Shivangi Pathak, 21, was talking to one Merwin when he started asking her weird questions, much to her discomfort.

Shivangi, has since then posted screenshots of the conversation on her social media page, which has received both shock and support from her friends and family.

Screenshots of conversations bewteen Shivangi and Merwin

Screenshots of conversations bewteen Shivangi and Merwin

Screenshots of conversations bewteen Shivangi and Merwin

Shivangi's facebook post reads, "So I suppose it's my fault this douchebag here decides that he wants to have some fun with me! I haven't talked to him in 8 years and suddenly out of no where he sends such filthy messages to me. Mind you, he doesn't even know what's going in my life."

She adds, "He literally just looks at me and sees me a pair of boobs and vagina that he can have fun with." Soon after posting the screenshots, Shivangi started getting responses and support from people on social media.

One user posted, "He had asked me d same question..letting him go was my mistake thank you so much Shivangi Pathak for taking a step ahead ..He is an asshole.. We girls are not on facebook to have sex or getting attention.. But i guess this will help him get some attention."

And another user posted, "I am proud of you girl. A couple of years ago i recieved such txt from him too.. just coz i told him i am dating he stopped txting i wonder he would hve continued like the same way he msgd u...All i could do is just block him right away."

Speaking to this correspondent, the Shivangi says, “The conversation started by asking me weird questions which rendered me absolutely aghast as he was an acquaintance and no one expects lewd messages from someone they have been friends with, in the past.”

She goes on to add that the conversation left her perplexed and angry as she was unable to understand how shameless can a person be. She would later go on to find out from support and comments pouring in on her post hat the man had been flirting and sending similar suggestive messages to girls as young as 18.

The conversation between Merwin and Shivangi went on with Merwin continuously referring to her as ‘hotti’, asking her to ‘come close’ and making other rude comments till Shivangi is forced to put her foot down and ask, “Where are your manners?...This is pathetic.”

Shivangi says, “Initially after posting the screenshots to shame him online, I received apologies from men who believed that previously they have accidentally or perhaps intentionally misbehaved with women too and regret it and wanted to thank me for bringing this topic to light.”

The Shivangi also received messages from several women who supported her and thanked her for bringing forth the rude behaviour.

However, as Shivangi says, there were those who felt that she should not have had replied or should have blocked him beforehand.

“In fact a close family member asked me not to post pictures as they're afraid the guy might get angry and do something to hurt me. The last message he sent me was "you're hot,” she says.

Shivangi says that evidently her telling him that she was not comfortable with the dialogue was not enough and she had to put everything online, tag him and encourage people to come up and speak.

“Four more girls came up to share how they had been harassed by him,” she says adding, “I hope my actions, even if it might not have made a difference to him, have stopped others from harassing someone intentionally or unintentionally.”

The incident has left Shivangi fuming with anger and she asks, “Why do you want to shut down the victim and ask them to not raise their voice? Why do you want them to block and hide and run away? Why can't you ask men not to harass women and make them uncomfortable? Why can't you shame them (those who are guilty of harassment) enough that they begin to be afraid of misbehaving in the first place?”

The daring Shivangi believes that had she blocked and not replied and hidden, men like Merwin would have moved on to the next girl and the entire cycle would never have had stopped.

“Unless we start screaming at the top of our lungs and shame them, they won't stop harassing us. A man's inability to control his urges is not my fault. Him harassing me is his shame, not mine,” she concludes.