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  Life   More Features  11 Apr 2019  What’s love got to do with it

What’s love got to do with it

Published : Apr 11, 2019, 11:47 pm IST
Updated : Apr 11, 2019, 11:47 pm IST

Life’s gift is in warmth, love and friendship to nurture your companionship.

While love is the most easily abused word it is not a very genuine love we see today. It is more like a toilet paper currently.
 While love is the most easily abused word it is not a very genuine love we see today. It is more like a toilet paper currently.

Isn’t it a strange juxtaposition that there is an overuse of the word love and yet there is hardly much of the real heartfelt emotion around, especially with the more self-absorbed, mobile addicted gen next? For that matter even the millennials?  Even life’s most trying moments can be crossed over with uncomplicated love, true bonds of spontaneity and attachment, where you could talk, laugh and it would not really matter what you spent time doing, because being together is more important than having an agenda. If you have the real thing, cling to it, cling to the people who you love and those that love you without hidden agendas (where the real motivator could be very different to what you think it is). True love and relationships have no agendas. I find that the most powerful force in the world is love, when it comes to human interaction, and yet people use it sparingly. It is almost often faked, there is much pretence, and yet when you experience the real thing it is euphoric. On the one hand the exclamation “love you” is bandied about with so much repetitive superficiality. On the other hand, people are nearly scared to experience the real thing.  You must have seen this scene so often at social do’s, two ‘besotted’ friends hugging each other holding a selfie camera in front, shouting out ‘love you’ with a tag line of many ‘xo’s’ denoting love and kisses on social media. They are posing to declare their love to the rest of the world. A few months later they refuse to acknowledge each other publically. They’ve ‘got what they needed’ from each other and have parted ways.

It often strikes me as an odd paradox, that considering love is a very valuable and yet free entity, shouldn’t the warmth and sunshine of love and the goodness that comes with it be more freely given and received in its genuine avatar? Considering it enriches the giver of it as well as the receiver? Shouldn’t there be less brusque, impolite interactions which would be easy to replace with warm enriching words that would make everyone’s life less anxiety and trauma ridden? Then what exactly is the malaise that plagues our current world, infested with anger, stress, anxiety, depression, suicide and panic attacks. It is obviously the lack of humane interactions replaced as they are with tele-communication?

While love is the most easily abused word it is not a very genuine love we see today. It is more like a toilet paper currently. Used by many, never mind what is in their hearts. The heart instead is full of what you can extract from your lover or friend, to better your prospects in life. Sign of these times, this phenomenon. Where we cannot get into things like loyalty and longevity. ‘Love you’ in today’s lingo usually means, I have ‘x’ number of agendas with you, you are useful to me and I intend to milk you for all you’ve got. Once I’m ‘done’ with you, I’ll just evaporate. The friend’s hidden agendas to get to know more people through you and to achieve more power socially it was, that had brought on the overwhelming love, that brought on the ‘butter up’ syndrome.  It might sound harsh, but your friend was a smooth speaking sales-person at heart. Love definitely does exist, but just like the water, the forests, animals and trees, man himself seems to be denuding it out of the world. And fast.

It is the trend of our times. Relatives and brothers and sisters are materialistically dismantling each other in courts and otherwise, sacrificing their bonds for materialistic amassing of wealth. Today it is not unusual to see a father and son in court, hating each other, fighting for homes, monies and feeling betrayed.

Relationships and friendships like greenery and wildlife is another causality to man’s material and technical evolution. I’m wondering if a time may come when if we need a normal platonic hug we’ll have to dial a one nine hundred number for a virtual hug and some kind words? It’s easy to forget what an amazing gift life really is. We need to keep re-experiencing the wonders of a love filled existence, of consciousness and true caring.

The writer is a columnist, designer and brand consultant. Mail her at

Tags: trauma, anxiety, tele-communication