Giving up on socialising and partying? You could be entering social menopause

Hard to believe, but true! If you’ve ever found yourself getting bored or just tired of getting out of the house every weekend, and being called out for it by your social circle, there’s a term for it now — social menopause.

The term refers to a phase one reaches in their life when they’re done with socialising and partying, and find going out exhausting and unrewarding. People around their 30s and 50s seem most prone, as they say it’s no longer worth the effort to head out and meet people.

“The whole gimmick of dressing up to impress is a dead deal. Now I find it more invigorating to spend time with a few true friends where we can share things and have a meaningful relationship rather than be one in the crowd,” says city-based entrepreneur Malini. “I would rather be alone with a good book or in the company of a select few who can add value to my life and experiences,” adds the 53-year-old.

Many others feel that partying is not productive and doesn’t interest them. Sumita Dawra, IAS principal secretary, Higher Education Department Government of Andhra Pradesh, is one of them.

Dawra says, “I don’t like to go to parties unless I get to meet some interesting people. I also don’t like to go to parties which have loud music, talk which is not productive and related to my interests. I want to do something which is mentally stimulating. I’m very discerning and careful about how I spend my time. I like to meet and interact in smaller groups and not large parties. I don’t need a party to relax. Nirav Nathanael, 27, a corporate employee from the city, reveals that instead of heading out to club or pub on New Year’s Eve, he and his friends chose to have a close-knit, quiet get together. “We head out almost every week, and now it just seems like too much of an effort. So we decided to have a quiet bonfire party on a friend’s terrace with some soft music, games and conversation.”

“There’s been an excess of socialising in the past two decades. You go to big parties in a huge group, and you’re worried about how you’re perceived by people,” says clinical psychologist Pulkit Sharma, adding, “It’s demanding and after a while, you get tired of it. There’s a burn out and you move away from it, instead trying to find something deeper to experience.”

Counsellor Sucharita N. believes that some people begin to think that once they reach a certain age, they need to behave a certain way.

“The psycho-social development of a person of that age reaches a point of stagnation. Most times a person feels that the need to socialise, but after a point, they begin to feel like they’ve done their job, and that there’s nothing much for them to make an effort about anymore,” she says.

You need a break
Everyone needs a break from socialising. Irrespective of whether you are an extrovert or an introvert, constantly partying takes a toll on your mental and physical health. After working all week, it’s best to take time off to rest and naturally people feel the need to do so instinctively. It’s self-protective and healthy to balance quiet time with socialising time
Dr Diana Monteiro, counseling psychologist