Millennial husbands

For centuries, marriage was about securing family ties and producing offspring. From the times of the caveman he went to work and found the means to feed his woman and their brood while the woman stayed at home, raised the kids and tended to the home. He was the provider, she the nurturer and the home maker.

And even though times changed it was the woman who largely gave up her career and her aspirations to set up home and raise the kids.

The good news is that the pattern seems to be changing and in the recent past the stereotypical husband-provider who expected to be waited upon and served has undergone a sea change. Gone are the days of the husband being the sole decision maker in the marriage. In fact, the definition of marital equations itself seems to have changed for millennial couples who have drawn up their own happy space where they are equals, each chipping in with their strengths and the two of them equally responsible for everything that happens in coupledom.

When Tollywood’s lead actress Samantha Ruth Prabhu decided to tie the knot with Naga Chaitanya, many thought that this might be the end of her career. However, Samantha continued to work after marriage, and some might even say that between her and Chay, she is the bigger star currently. Chay is very comfortable in his skin and equally proud of his wife’s success.

While this is a happy development for women, this has put pressure on a lot of millennial men who are desperately seeking inspiration to reinvent themselves to meet the aspirations of their millennial wives. And the problem is not just faced by ordinary men it is every new age man’s problem to solve.

Who would have thought the stars too have to worry about reinventing themselves? Newly married actor Ranveer Singh recently charmed many a woman when he declared that he was on the quest to becoming a “millennial husband”, to Deepika Padukone. He said, “I have already become boyfriend of the millennium. Now, I am working towards becoming husband of the millennium.”

With more and more women, especially millennials adopting careers that keep them extra busy and engaged, the onus is on the men in their lives to step up their act. And this is happening all over the world and to the most privileged folks.  

To make sure that his wife’s career doesn’t suffer, Indian skipper Virat Kohli moved to Mumbai after marrying Anushka Sharma. Both, Anushka and Virat are very successful in their respective professions and make sure that they are there for each other.

Tennis ace Serena Williams’ husband and Internet entrepreneur, Alexis Ohanian Sr. is not just a devoted husband who supports his wife’s passion for the game but he is also a hands-on father who takes care of their daughter Alexis Olympia Ohanian Jr, when mama Serena is playing her matches in different corners of the world. The proud wife and mama Serena recently posted a video of the father-daughter duo dancing on Twitter. “This guy wow he is amazing. I wake up feeling special every day. He’s the best dad too. @alexisohanian (sic).”

Speaking about these changed dynamics, well-known relationship expert, Richa Khetawat says, “Earlier there was a clear gender definition with husband and wife roles, where husbands were supposed to be the providers and wife’s to be the nurturers. Hence once there were children born the nurturer, who was the wife, she had to care for them and take a step back in her career. However, over a period of time,  there has been a paradigm change. Now people are considered partners or spouse rather than nurturer or provider. Today both — husband and wife — share everything, whether it’s responsibilities or hobbies.”

Ace Tennis Player Sania Mirza and former captain of Pakistan Cricket team, Shoaib Malik got married in 2004. Right from the start, Shoaib supported every decision of Sania Mirza. Despite Sania being questioned if she would change her nationality and start playing for Pakistan, Shoaib never had any issue with Sania continuing to play for India. In fact, their new-born baby, Izhaan Mirza Malik, has taken both their surnames.

Six time world boxing champion and mother of three, Mary Kom, has repeatedly praised her husband, K.Onler Kom, for all the support. “13 years of God’s Blessing. Thank you for the Love, Care, Support...you are my everything @OnlerK (sic),” she tweeted as the couple celebrated their 13th anniversary earlier this year.

Mumbai-based Kashish Chhabria, counselling Psychologist and international inspirational speaker says, “I think it’s a beautiful trend and the new age husbands who support their successful wives in achieving career goals are the role models our society needs.

“I strongly believe that like attracts like, and when a strong focused woman has a supportive partner, the couple together can do wonders for the family. It’s high time that women stop feeling guilty about prioritising their careers because at times they do better than their partners at work. These days more and more couples are getting flexible by dividing financial and family responsibility and not burdening one person with everything.”

We don’t know how the men are coping with their new roles but we are sure a lot of women are enjoying this new phase of their relationship.