‘Stay in’ touch with yourself

Staying home tonight Nah, you are not a social recluse. There was a time, when only introverts found solace in the four walls of their cozy homes. You were branded anti-social and dismissed as a loner, who had more fingers than friends. Today, it’s uber cool to announce that you are ‘staying in’ as opposed to going out. And if you still require a formal validation, just subscribe to Netflix and catch those American sitcoms like Master of None, where Dev and Rachel hang out at home. If you are quite the Internet junkie, you can instantly identify with Abbi and Ilana of Broad City.

So how did something as mundane as slipping into your favourite pyjamas, sprawling on your comfy couch and aimlessly switching channels become so fashionable That’s the thing about trends; they are more fickle than the seasons in the sun. So right now, couch potatoes rule!

Rahul Khanna, director of Azure Hospitality who owns a chain of prominent restaurants across many Indian metros, votes for staying in. “It has always been in. We just never noticed or remember — we only remember the ‘nights out’ because of their novelty — not the countless times we were invited over to our friends growing up or inviting them over — chatting and craving about why and what we loved about eating at home. Yes social habits have changed, we got busy, we forgot and hence we got apps to get us food but I’d rather be a party pooper here and say — eat what’s at home, if there is no ‘home’ then yes, go crazy.”

Rahul is part of a growing breed of millennials who heartily embrace change, ridding themselves of a structured code of daily living. But staying in doesn’t have to be about brooding alone or locking yourself in your room and listening to Adele’s soothing voice lamenting the loss of love, in Set Fire to the Rain. Nor is it about drowning your sorrows in bottles of alcohol, a la Devdas. It’s a lifestyle choice that stems from a need to rest your body, mind and soul. Given the fast paced lifestyle and demands of stressful careers that call for daily commute on traffic-infested polluted Indian roads, staying in is sheer bliss.

Mumbai-based Bollywood choreographer and Salsa exponent, Sneha Kapoor says, “My schedule can get quite erratic — sometimes I’m working through the day or night and sometimes endlessly for months. I personally love staying at home. I enjoy the comforts of my bedroom to catch up on some of my favourite TV shows like Pretty Little Liars or Rizzoli and Isles. Today, the conveniences are many. From watching shows and movies on our smart phones to ordering food and beverages to our door step — most of which even come in ready-to-eat meal boxes with cutlery so you don’t even have a sink full of dishes to clean up in the end!”

Convenience is the key word. In a world, where relationships are more about instant gratification and consumers seek variety at the push of a button, why step out when you can order in Lakshmi Gopalaswamy, a South Indian actress and Bharatanatyam dancer, opines that the idea is a natural progression, given the times we live in. “Being an artiste, I can’t really relate to a 9-5 schedule but I love staying indoors over the weekends or whenever I get some time off. I endorse the trend because I believe living in a city is physically and emotionally taxing. So chilling out within the comforts of your space with friends is a necessity. Such an arrangement gives you the luxury of time and the much needed space away from the bustle.”

Staying in is about staying alive to savour precious little moments like the chirping of birds at the crack of dawn, or the unexpected pitter-patter of rain on a parched day. It’s not about abandoning your social life and adopting the ascetic life of a monk. Bengaluru-based fashion designer Raj Shroff believes in the power of balance. “It’s great to look within yourself at times and that’s what comes through for me when I stay indoors. You tend to listen to your innermost thoughts and then figure your own route to how you can grow. Growth or evolution is always a mix of both, you head out to treat your senses and you stay indoors to rest your senses. The balance will keep you happy. I do love to party it out at times and have a great time and then I go into my shell and do my own things to keep all five senses more alive and kicking. I mostly spend time reading a bit and relaxing my thoughts when I’m at home like watching a movie, go to a friend’s place for a cup of tea or just chat over a nice dinner at home, followed by an after-party at home on Saturdays,” he states.

This is a concept that echoes not just across the globe but spans generations too. Delhi-based lawyer turned author of Existential Dance, Sujata Mehra (who is in her late 40s) now prefers to stay in over going out. She opines, “Sometimes, the need is more intimate, to be alone or with close friends in a comfortable surrounding. Here, nothing would compare with being at home. At other times, one needs the stimulation. There’s a challenge of being open to the unexpected, being introduced to something new, a different setup or different people.”

Dr Suba Madhusudan, clinical psychologist. defines it as a conscious withdrawal from social overexposure. She states, “With incessant socialisation, people are unnecessarily at the centre of focus, about what they wore, whom they were seen with. People don’t want that focus anymore. It is much less stressful to spend an evening in alone. It is about the privacy that you get at home away from constant social censure.”

With inputs from Namita Gupta, Sneha Kumar and Pooja Prabhan