My life revolves around my son: Emraan Hashmi

Dabbling in multiple roles was never too difficult for Bollywood actor Emraan Hashmi. However, his toughest role so far has been that of a parent and a ‘superhero’, braving the hardships that came his way after his three-year-old son was diagnosed with cancer. The actor, who was in the capital recently to unveil the first look of his book The Kiss of Life, talked about being born with his child, the permutations and combinations of parenthood, the idea of secularism and his much-coveted role as Mohammad Azharuddin in his upcoming film.

Struggle as a father “My son Ayaan, when he was a three-year-old child, was suddenly diagnosed with a dreaded form of cancer and that changed our lives overnight. From New Year vacations and wonderful Sunday brunches at five-star hotels, we started visiting hospitals for the different blood tests that my son had to go through. The trauma that a patient undergoes is very different from the one that the concerned families have to face. Cancer is not something that you fight like flu or any other disease; it is not a battle that you win after medication. After three years, I still feel that I need some counseling, as it certainly had a psychological impact on me because of the emotional trauma that I underwent,” Emraan said while addressing a session at Penguin’s Spring Fever 2016.

Lessons from his son The child gives birth to a father, Emraan feels. “My son gave me a new birth; he made me the man that I was supposed to be — a responsible father. This book is a part of my life; it’s about a phase which, in its way, was a cathartic experience. There is a moment when the parent has to rise and play the role of a ‘superhero’. Ayaan taught me that,” he affirms.

Emraan adds, “My son has also taught me this — I have learnt to be a better human being, I have learnt that life will hit you, it will knock you down on the floor but you have to get up, stumble, fall again and then get up but never give up. He has taught me that it’s okay to fail at times. From the irresponsible, ignorant bum that I was in college to becoming a responsible father, I have seen a huge transformation in my personality. I have changed my lifestyle to be a good role-model for my child. I have quit smoking. I have adopted a healthy lifestyle. If you are munching on hamburgers, you can’t expect your kids to be having greens, so I eat healthy food and we do regular exercises and everything in my life revolves around my son.”

Women are strongest After seeing his wife Praveen show extraordinary strength during such a stressful situation, Emraan believes that women are “emotionally stronger” than men. “My wife was in Toronto and she was there throughout his medication process. However, while I was there to meet the medical protocol, I had to come back, as an actor. You can’t lag behind as that puts your professional life at stake. While there were moments when I broke down and burst into tears, my wife was very strong emotionally throughout the process. I don’t know how she managed to be so brave, hats off to her!” the actor says.

On tolerance About the much-heated debate around growing intolerance in our country, Emraan shares a personal anecdote: “I call my family a nationally integrated family. My mom is a Christian, my dad is a staunch Muslim and my wife is a Hindu. My grandmother converted to Islam after marriage. You might feel that it gets chaotic for a kid with so many religions around. This is exactly what I went through. But the true meaning of the word ‘secular’ is to be respectful of someone else’s belief and not shun it or them. It is about imbibing the best from every religion. I did that after visiting the church with my mother, the mosque with my father and the temple with my wife. My son has seen all of this and the way Ayaan’s brain is evolving from soaking up so much and learning the best parts from all religions is a great thing for him. He will grow up into a fantastic individual, as he’ll respect every religion. He recites prayers with my father too, who prays five times a day!”

Family values Family beliefs and values enrich an individual the most. “Parenting is so complex and in the process you could go wrong. It is all about permutations and combinations while tackling a kid. There are key beliefs and principles, ethics and morals that need to be imparted to children. They are what nurtures them. Even though parenting is a very personal subject— it is just you and the crisis that your child is facing — but the manic energy that comes to you to protect your child goes back to the basic parenting skills that you have inherited from your own parents,” he puts forth.

Individuality matters Emraan likes to give freedom and liberty to his son to make his own choices. He shares, “I would never impose my wishes or my failed ambitions on my child, as it is criminal to do so. Let the kids choose the best for themselves. I will never push Ayaan to be an actor. My son can choose to be whatever he wants to be. He loves dancing and is learning a dance form called Paco Vera. He’s learning to play the piano, doing kickboxing. And it’s all his choice. I haven’t forced anything on him.”

Ayaan as competition Emraan realised that his son is a better actor than him during the photo shoot of his book. “He’s eaten me alive in front of the camera. A six-year-old usually has an attention span of eight minutes, but after 30 minutes of the photo shoot, he told me, ‘Dad, is this what you do for a living This is so boring!’ He’s also got a better pout than me. Probably, a Murder 9 for him!” he quips.

Azhar biopic Emraan, who is currently shooting for Azhar, a forthcoming biopic of former Indian skipper Mohammad Azharuddin, shares about his shooting experience, “As a young kid, I was good at gully cricket but not professional cricket. It wasn’t easy to encapsulate 30 years of Azharuddin’s wonderful journey in just three months. The movie is more about his life than just his cricketing skills. For my role, Azharuddin helped me a lot during shoot. I did a lot of shadow practice with him too and started connecting with the ball.”