He knows I am a fan boy: Kamal Haasan

I grew up hero-worshipping Shivaji Ganesan — he was like the guiding star in my life. And then I discovered an entire galaxy in Dilip saab. I discovered him rather late and it took me a long time to learn to appreciate him. I belong to another culture, another generation. The first film of his that I saw was Mughal-e-Azam. He touched something deep within me as an actor. You have to be an actor to fully understand what he achieves through his performances. I am still in the process of discovering his virtuosity.

I was introduced to Hindi cinema very late. The first Hindi film I saw was Padosan, and that too because I was told that the Tamil community was lampooned in the film through Mehmood’s character. And I ended up becoming a fan of Hindi cinema. When I came to Mumbai to do Ek Duuje Ke Liye, I met Javed Akhtar. I told him I am a fan of Dilip saab although I had only seen Mughal-e-Azam. He asked me to see Ganga Jumna. That film gave me all the inspiration I needed. And after that I had to meet the man. I went to meet him the very next day. I had tears in my eyes when I told him what I thought of him. He just smiled. Maybe he thought, ‘Not another one.’ I apologised to him for discovering him late.

Then onwards I would pay him a visit every time I would be in Mumbai. He kept my request and came to Chennai many years ago to give an award to my other favourite Shivaji Ganesan. In front of 40,000 people I showed off my familiarity with him. I spent two-and-a-half hours with him before the function in his hotel room listening to his stories from his younger days.

He spoke of his life as a boy in Kabul. As you know, he is a great speaker. That quality remains. That day in Chennai I imbibed his hunger for knowledge. A deprivation of formal education never deterred him from educating himself. Even now, Dilip saab continues to remain a quiet, attentive observer and listener. When he speaks he speaks with devastating coherence.

This country made him so insecure that Yusuf Khan changed his name to Dilip Kumar. Today a man called Dilip has changed his name to A.R. Rahman. The country has grown up but not enough. In Tamil Nadu you won’t find any actor with a Muslim name except Nasser. Even I was advised to change my name since it sounded Muslim.

Yusuf saab is old and tired of the idolisation now. He craves for quiet. I met him on October 14 this year. I will now meet him on his birthday today, December 11, as I try to do each year. He knows I am a fan boy. Each time I meet him I kiss his hand and call him my godfather. Dilip saab remains amused at my unabashed idolisation.

He has influenced two generations of actors and I am very sure he will continue to tug at the heartstrings of a third generation of actors. The only other actor about whom we can say the same about is Marlon Brando. Yusuf saab invented method acting on his own when there was no such concept.

I am truly his Eklavya, who has always been there for his birthday. But there is one more fan. He has come to see him on his birthday for the past 40 years. The last time I saw him waiting in queue, I advised him to go first, since he was senior. He told me he didn’t mind waiting, and that he was confident he would see his idol. That is not just loyalty. That’s hero worship at its purest.

I have dreamt of sharing screen space with Yusuf saab. In fact when I wrote the Tamil film Thavar Magan, I had already planned to cast him and myself in the Hindi adaptation. But he wasn’t keen. So I let it go. But the day when Sairaji took a picture of him and me — that day I was able to share the frame with him. That was enough for me.