Out of time

I’m reading about this very important man who comes to a master for gyan. “Sir, I just do not have the time!” says he when asked to meditate for an hour every morning. Half an hour No sir, he cannot! Fifteen minutes People have to understand he holds a ‘very important post’! Not even ten minutes He has, after all, spent a considerable amount of time arguing. But this is not about him. A predicament, or let’s say attitude like this takes a toll on our cherished relationships more than we realise. These are times of breathless forward movement — and your health is not the only thing impacted. Your reactions, interactions, moods and relationships are too. The last time you spent an entire afternoon leisurely seated on a playground wall with a pal was probably when you bunked school to watch other kids play cricket. Or maybe that clandestine movie escapade from college!

You can’t think of opting for less stressful jobs because there’s the housing loan on that fancy apartment you had to have. There must be people yachting in Monaco or scuba diving in Mauritius, but indeed that’s just why you don’t have time for anything now. Being among them is what you’re working so hard towards!

The point is, life may pass you by while you’re so busy running towards a better version of it. Girlfriend, wife, children, friends — bonding, happy quality time can wait. Perhaps next weekend you might get to sleep through if you’re lucky. The refrain is always ‘later, later’.

You love your family. It’s all for the family! But what family And what time do you give them to be a family When you will eventually get down to giving them time, they might not be able to deal with you having so much of it to give them! They might already have found their own life away from you.

This scenario may be a more metropolitan thing but it is percolating to small towns too.

Smell the coffee now. Save your precious relationships. Make time for that fun dinner with your partner, go out dancing with them or just laze around chatting.

The next great change I see is a radical shift towards simplifying life — reducing everything to essentials, cutting down on excesses and complexities. That’s what will release greater time for what we’re supposed to be doing — living!

Girlfriend, wife, kids, parents, extended family, friends — all need time devoted to them. Missing out on that is an irrevocable loss that can’t be confronted in some vague and (very uncertain) future, when you will have ‘more time’. If you value them, make them your priority now.

Actor Imran Khan took ‘paternity leave’ from acting when wife Avantika was pregnant and delivered their baby daughter. And he has never regretted the choice he made. Maybe more people should take a cue from him.

The writer is a columnist, designer and brand consultant. Mail her at nishajamvwal@gmail.com