Expert explains why some people can handle break-ups better

The Asian Age With Agency Inputs

Life, Relationship

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Getting on with life after a break-up can be a tough transition for a lot of people

But while it may take you a week to get out of bed, others can move on with their life within a few days.

This begs the question. Are some individuals just more resilient?

Clinical psychologist Dr Meg Jay told the Daily Mail that resilience is "not a personality trait we are born with or not".

Everyone struggles with grief internally in their own way. However, research reveals that some people have a way of coaching themselves through hardship.

A study conducted by Anke Ehlers of Oxford University on prisoners of war in East Germany found some had developed PTSD and some did not.

Those who did no develop the condition had one thing in common: "they were mentally coaching themselves through it", the report revealed.

While it is not fully understood, why some people have this ability, Dr Jay has suggested a few ways anyone dealing with sadness can deal through a difficult time.

1. Even if it hard to feel resilient, believe that you are anyway: "Resilience needs time. It could be months or years, but you get through it and you feel better after it. It doesn't mean you're not resilient because you weren't over it the next day," she told the Daily Mail.

2. Make a list of how you had handled a rough period in the past: People often forget how they got through a previous break-up and don't realise how far they made it through. "A lot of people are more resilient than they realize, but they may only remember the bad things that happened, not what they did afterwards," Dr Jay explained.

3. Commit to the plans you make: Making an effort to sticking to your routing or the thing you normally do is important. For example, if you go for a run, then go for a run even if you don't want to. Once you get through it, you realise it wasn't so bad. "It's the same with a break-up. Once you go through all of the sadness and pain - which you will have to go through - then you realize that the break-up was a good thing; that you're happy you're not in that relationship any more," she stated.

4. Join a class: It will help you take your mind off your feeling and help you focus on the task at hand.

5. Have a support system: It is important to have a shoulder to lead on in time of need. You don't have to go through the challenges of life on your own.

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