The upfront approach

The Asian Age.  | Nisha Jamvwal

Life, Relationship

Girls prefer a direct approach a man if she is interested in him. Progressive enjoy the direct approach rather than hints as well.

Marriage itself is about constancy and consistency, fidelity and steadfastness. So why even be in the institution when it’s not working for you?

It is believed that men get intimidated, or even frightened or turned off by women who come on too strong in ill-disguised advances to a man?

Perhaps that is so, but in this millennium, the other side is appearing to be as truer. A woman boldly, brazenly gives a man the ‘come hither’ and promptly finds him beside her in eager delight. Who is he to question a windfall opportunity that’s came his way effortlessly?  It’s ‘make hay while the sun shines!’ today.

A story being narrated at an evening, had us listening with much wonder, and more laughter. The attractive lady, empowered by an enervating wine or two, set forth to the handsomest man in the gathering. —With a no frills “Are you single?!” she asked! He bounded forth forgetting the rest of the world and some meetings later they lived happily ever after.

It is of course not a scene you witness every day, but what used to be the man's domain is quite comfortably a part of the ‘liberated’ modern women with her desired aims being achieved to mutual satisfaction. It doesn't have to be so direct even, just paying attention in particular to a man you’re interested in, giving him attention, striking up a conversation that resonates with both of you or asking him out to a gathering, not a date particularly to start with- might be the beginning of something special.

Today girls prefer to adopt the direct approach when interested in a man.  And men fancy the direct approach than hints, because they say- and yes I’ve asked many-that they never get to know until much later that a girl was interested.

The coy hints maybe are a thing of the past when time was not such an elusive thing? One man confided to me that the subtle insinuations a woman sends his way are lost on him entirely, he either misses them completely or then nearly always thinks he is reading too much into the situation.

On the other hand men too are often unable to take the initiative to approach a woman for fear of rejection. The relationship that might have been a wonderful one never sees fruition unless the woman takes the lead here. Many years later the man and woman may meet, admit their feelings and regret that life and opportunity passed them by and neither had the courage to acknowledge their feelings?

When someone spoke of a lady with a dubious reputation ‘supplying escorts’ it sent a man into splits of loud laughter “Madam” -he said “that lady is surely out of employment!

A man has to crook his index finger and he'll have ladies pouring out of the wood work these days! They are so available,” he laughed. That is the subject of another chat altogether.

The playing field is open to players male and female. In big towns and even smaller towns often, the scene is fast changing, or has already changed.

According to him, the shy, coy small-town girl waiting behind curtains is likely to grow into the “mature maiden” still shy and coy and behind the curtain!

Infact the scenario is that men are said to have become too lazy for the hunt, so to say!

Or too hassled by completive work pressures that are setting the finding of a mate to a procrastination status. And ladies lose nothing of their good name if they make the first move.

Men have become broad-minded, even blasé about it all and women liberated go getters. It's an empowered world with old world ‘rules’ becoming archaic and women making decisive choices.

— The writer is a columnist, designer and brand consultant. Mail her at