Unhappiness is the gap between where you want to be and where you really are. The world is full of people who are not where they want to be and as a result they end up leading an unfulfilled life. They key to joy lies in understanding that life owes us nothing and there will be life-events that are beyond our control.  Our relationships suffer when we do not know how to manage expectations from others and our happiness suffers when we do not know how to manage our desires.

When you are at peace with your life, you will experience happiness which lasts far longer than momentary shots of ecstasy that comes from achievements and appreciation.

Never expect anything from others- Treat everything that others do for you as a favour, even if they are repaying an old debt they owe you. Never expect anything from family, friends or colleagues. This is easier said than done but if you can master this habit you can be hurt-proof. No one in this world will be able to hurt or cheat you again. This will not stop your interactions or kill your relationship with others; to the contrary it will purify you.

Help and forget- Once you decide to help someone, help them to the best of your ability. Make sure your help is not making them weak and they are learning to be independent in life. Do not expect anything from the people you helped in the past, as nature has its own ways of repaying your kindness. Sometimes you will be helped by the people you helped but most of the times, new people will come in your life and solve a few problems for you.

Focus on the essentials- Have you ever thought what are the most essential things for human existence? What are the things that you really need and what are the things that you are made to need as a result of some great marketing campaign? Make air, water, food and shelter the only things you desire. Rest everything will come when the want ends and the actions purify. Minimize your needs and stop being slave to any brand or gadget. You are as rich as the things you can live without.

Believe in the healing power of gratitude and service- If you focus on these three points you will reach a milestone of indifference and independence but do not make it your destination. Your real legacy as a human being is the people and animals you helped. Help as much as you can with your money, power, network, time and prayers. Be grateful for what you have. Learn something new every day and take highest quality action to manifest your goals. Make sure your goals improve the lives of others.

Stay focused on the main thing and give up inessential pursuits and people.

(Siddhartha is the bestselling author of Love Your Mondays and retire young, 60 Keys to Success with NLP and many other books)