There’s a Day for it

The Asian Age.  | Magandeep Singh

Life, Relationship

As the calendar extends, there seems to be a Day to mark just about anything.

A still from the movie Valentine’s Day.

When the iPhone, many generations ago, launched the App store, they had this nifty advert which basically spread the idea that no matter what you wish to do, there’s an app(lication) to do it for you. It stuck. Today, even as the word widgets dies a slow silent death, Apps have invaded our lives. That said, only a handful really matter to most of us, the remaining just languish on that online shelf of our stores, hoping that someone notices them and takes them home. Discounts, price cuts, and other forms of lucrative deals aren’t beyond developers. The demand-supply is so askew that it isn’t an App store anymore, it’s an App adoption centre.

This is what came to my mind when I sat back and pondered the month of June and how many Days it had. No, not days, Days. There was Cognac Day on the 4th, Gin on the 10th conveniently followed by Cucumber Day on the 14th, Tapas Day on the 15th, Father’s Day on 18th and World Music Day as also World Yoga Day on the 21st. From getting drunk and snacking to calling dad to say hi, chilling with some music before diving into detox — sounded like the perfect party to me if it had all happened in the course of an evening and not spanned an entire month!

This then drew my attention to other months with their plethora of Days and keep in mind you are reading of someone who thinks a Valentine’s Day is a wasted platitude. But compared to the crap we seem intent on celebrating or even commemorating, 14th February almost sounds legit. Apparently, it’s not enough to just make Birthdays and Anniversaries, Independence Days or Memorials for Fallen Soldiers’ Days, we also need a Day for Family Remittances (16th June), for Ending Impunity for Crimes Against Journalists (2nd Nov.), Toilet Day (19th Nov.), and so on.

Even Languages have a Day, French on 20th March, Chinese, 20th April but then, as if we suddenly ran out of what we have 365 of, English and Spanish have to share 23rd April. Hell, there’s even a Day of Neutrality (12th Dec.), which is such a Russell’s Paradox for, in my mind, such a Day negates its own existence by existing!

But these are still the good ones, for as the calendar extends, there seems to be a Day to mark just about anything. Much like the Rule 34 (which states that if you can imagine it, there already exists porn for it), there must be a Day Rule which says that if anybody ever can, has, or will imagine a reason to celebrate, there already exists a Day for it. Not listing anymore here but do share the ones you find most imbecilic.

The reason I am speaking about this is that as men we find it hard to retain data beyond a small time frame. Which is why we love food because once consumed we needn’t pay it any more attention. We are bad with ‘what you wore to the last party’ or ‘Do you remember her shoes from that day’ kinda’ stuff. We genuinely struggle to remember anything that doesn’t involve game scores or car model numbers. The few dates that we do manage to retain are because they are important to people who matter to us. But throw in all these other junk dates and we’re being set up for a fall. So, world, dear world, stop cluttering. Less is indeed more. We have 365 days as it is, let’s not make it 365 Days.

The writer is a lover of wine, song and everything fine