“Relax, darling, this won’t take long” whispered Rahul into Reema’s ears. And true to his word it didn't!
It had been a perfect evening. After months of dating and wooing, Rahul lead Reema to his bed. Passionate caresses and fervent fondling followed. Rahul mounted her and sensed her tensing up and realized she was apprehensive about the “first entry”. To reassure her, he leaned over and said, “Don't worry, darling! This won’t take a moment.” True to his words, he did not last more than half a minute. Reema’s eyes widened and she looked up to find Rahul lying flat on her. She retorted in a sarcastic tone, annoyed, “Oh! Golly! We can give Schumacher a run for his money can’t we? You are the fastest one of them all! You finished even before I could start off.”
The condition in which a man ejaculates fast and finishes off before the women reaches her orgasm is known as either Premature Ejaculation or Early Orgasmic Response. This condition is not seen in the animal kingdom. Their mating game is not aimed at sexual gratification, only at procreation. Unfortunately for the humans the mating game has acquired a three dimensional holographic effect: procreational, recreational and relational. Hence, the man is expected not only to have fun but also to make it fun for her. But it is the man who is always in a hurry, who faces the problem. Such a man may set new speed records but this is one race where he isn’t going to win accolades. In fact, he may not want to run the race at all.
While many physical and psychological factors may be causative, the most common cause is the man’s lack of adequate voluntary control over his ejaculatory reflex. The only redeeming feature is that this condition is highly amenable to treatment.
Managing the situation:
- Anticipation is a great trigger. So don't think you are going to come soon.
- Indulge in more foreplay.
- Enjoy the journey as it is as important as the destination.
- If you come too soon, don't panic. God has given you additional armor - tongue, fingers, etc. use them.
- Seek professional help. Two methods of management are available — Sex Therapy and Pharmaco Therapy. Sex Therapy is ideal , as it has no side effects and will help you to improve your non sexual life also. Modern medicine has come up with drugs known as Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors ( SSRI's). While these may be effective, they have side effects and have to be used under medical supervision.
Don't hurry - Keep her happy.
The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at dr.narayana @deccanmail.com