“My husband is no more interested in me,” lamented the attractive lady sitting across my table. “It is not true,” protested the man.
“Then why is that you don’t sleep with me now a days?” retorted the lady. “Earlier you used to force me for sex at least once a day if not twice?”.
Karun and Reema’s was a love marriage. The first three years of the marriage was great fun — both inside and outside their bedroom. But Karun now shows no interest in sex, since past one year. Even if Reema tries all tricks to ignite passion in him, he does not respond. He is like a block of ice.
“Four years ago we fell madly in love with each other. That is why I married him even though I knew he had other girl friends. I don’t know where our love has gone now? He has become morose, uncaring and sulks all the time” burst out a tearful Reema.
Karun is experiencing a condition known as Sexual Burnout Syndrome. In this condition a person who used to lead an extra active sex life, suddenly finds that sex does not give him the pleasure any more.
And he finds his sex drive reducing. The penis also does not rise to the occasion as often as it used to in spite of all stimulation. Some people may experience emotional and physical exhaustion, a sense of estrangement and feelings of detachment in the relationship.
Burnout is defined as a state of fatigue or frustration brought about by excessive devotion to a cause, way of life or a relationship that failed to produce the expected reward.
Persons, who enjoy sex at a very early age and compulsively engage in sex with a high frequency, sometimes more than once in a single day for an extended period run the risk of getting sexually fatigued. This makes them lose interest in sex. Since their primary bonding with the other gender is exclusively dependant on sexual attraction and pleasure, their interest in the relationship also declines. They become detached and depersonalised.
Guidelines For The Burnouts
- Accept/understand the situation
- Take a vacation from sexual gymnastics
- Relax. Learn to enjoy the non-sexual aspects of the relationship
For The Spouses
- Be Supportive
- Realise that with time the lost passion will be rediscovered