Not only the lonely this season
Singles are a lonely lot during the festive season, and we explore ways to tackle this need for company... and what not to do.
Holiday season is right around the corner and it brings along with it not only Christmas carols, pretty decorations and plum cakes but a need to be with someone. Or so movies pledge, since time immemorial. It is just not a good time to be single!
In a poll of 2,037 people, Mind (a mental health charity) found that one in 10 millennials say they have no one to spend Christmas with, compared to one in 20 older people.
Living in a time of quick fixes and easy solutions, we get chatty with city folk to find out how they tackle being single and lonely this season of cheer.
Saumya Manidhar, a student of psychology from Jain College is in agreement with all the Romcoms she has relished. She says, “With all the westernisation, we are beginning to celebrate a lot more holidays and festivals. Indian festivals don’t call for you to have a date, it is more about spending time with family. But now we have New Year’s Eve and many other festivals which people celebrate with their partners. Even I want to be kissed when the clock strikes 12 or be taken out on a romantic dinner date! Not just because that’s what everybody in the West does but because that’s what everyone around me is doing. While the first solution everyone turns to is getting back with an ex or getting onto a dating app, I don’t think it’s healthy. So I stay back at home, have comfort food or attend a fun party hosted by a friend.”
Ananya Bhattacharya, an application developer in a private firm, confesses to having fallen prey to the concept too. She says, “The entire city and world is decorated, and celebrating. Everyone around is happy and with someone. The lights, decor and everything around makes me feel incomplete. And I have noticed that this is the time when the maximum number of patch-ups happens. Been there, done that! No matter how bad my ex was, around this time I convince myself to believe that it is only fair to give him a chance. It’s nice to wear a pretty dress and step out with someone. And there have been several instances when I have done that and the relationship has fallen apart immediately after the festive vibe goes down. Being with friends and attending parties and social gathering is, I think, one of the best ways to tackle the problem.”
Regular remedies to pull yourself together and get back to being your strong independent self go out of the window during the holiday season. Abhishek Pde, a MA student from Jain College reasons out why things are the way they are and how he tackles loneliness. He says, “Most people are not living here with their family, they are by themselves. Holiday season is the worst time to realise that. I’m here to study and my family is in Nagaland. When I see people around me putting up Christmas decorations and walking with loved ones hand in hand, I too wish that I had someone. The one solution I would turn to in the past would be getting on a dating app that can be extremely harmful I’ve realised. Everyone is looking for something different, mostly hook ups. There is a battle of going through a plethora of people who you have to choose from. The worst part, you don’t even know them.”
This holiday season make sure you don’t fall prey to temptation! Put your fancy pants on and treat yourself to parties, movies and yummy food. For it’s the time to be happy....
Looking deeper, Priyanka MB, a psychologist, explores this negative trend. She says, “As humans, we always choose pleasure over pain, it is an innate quality we possess. We want love, acceptance and belonging. We want to be together, and celebrations are associated to being with loved ones. It is normal to want to be social and joyful together, like the people around us.”
5 ways to tackle loneliness
1) Indulge in self care.
2) Go on a vacation.
3) Spend time with family and friends.
4) Host a party, make an effort to meet new people.
5) Check things off your bucket list.
6) Don’t resort to dating apps.
7) Don’t get back to an ex!