Time for a time-out

Ross and Rachel in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. end up having a long-standing row when Ross has a hook-up while on a ‘break’ from their relationship.

Lady Gaga recently took to Instagram to address the status of her five-year long relationship with actor Taylor Kinney. Amidst speculations of a break-up, the pop-diva revealed that they were just “taking a break” and that she hopes to reconcile with her soul mate soon. She also acknowledged the fact that their ambitions and busy schedules have been keeping them apart for some time now. Life coach Veechi Shahi feels that taking some time off and introspecting always helps with relationships, “Taking this break is healthy as this gap will take the negativity and frustrations away that slowly start accumulating and growing in a relationship over a period of time,” she says.

The break allows you to miss your partner, lets you figure out your priorities and tells you what is more important to you suggests life coach Chetna Mehrotra, “If you are taking a break because your relationship has issues and you want to be with the partner forever, then sorting it in your head is a must. Though it can be a bad idea if you are merely looking for an excuse to get away from daily disputes. It won’t change a thing. If a relationship is falling apart, instead of running away, talk to yourself and your partner. Communication, if done properly, can resolve any issue.”

Before you set out for a break, you have got to set certain boundaries and respect them while you are at it. “Hook-ups are certainly prohibited, it will be cheating and you are better off breaking up unless you have mutually decided that it is permissible. During the break, do not keep texting your partner through the day. If you have opted for a space, give the same space to your other half too. Dropping by each day isn’t exactly going to serve the hiatus well,” Chetna adds, saying the time is best spent keeping yourself busy. “When you are taking a break don’t go looking for someone else to fill the space, it’s not about replacing your current lover with a new person. However, it is the time to reconnect with your inner self. Do all the stuff that you have missed out, which you love to do alone or with your family and friends,” Veechi advises.

An important thing is to set an actual date to end the break. Keeping the break going on infinitely can be a frustrating experience that piles on and adds to your other frustrations. “Don’t make the break endless. Use the time to evaluate your current relationship. If you can clear your mind, jump back in but if you can’t, then be respectful and tell the person it’s not working. Be clear and decisive,” says transformational coach Anand Chulani.

How long is a good break If at all a break is needed and both partners mutually agree on it, then anything from 2-3 weeks is an ideal time to be away from each other.

Some people take a weekend break from each other, which is merely an excuse, as it doesn’t solve anything.

Anything over a month means you are too confused or are enjoying your alone time. In that case it’s better to call off your relationships, as you are certainly not comfortable being in it.