:: OP-ED

Love-hate thy neighbour

By S.M. Shahid

Oct 20 : "Do you have neighbours?" Babboo asked. "What a silly question! Of course I have neighbours. I am not living on Mars. I live in Defence". "Oh, really? You sound as if Defence is a better place than Mars. Do you meet them?" he asked.

"Meet whom?"

"Your neighbours — in DEFENCE!" Putting emphasis on the word "defence", he added, "I understand in Nazimabad and Liaquatabad people do mix up with their neighbours".

"In Defence it is different", I said.

"How can you call them your neighbours then?"

"Because they ARE my neighbours".

"But you don’t meet them. For all practical purposes you don’t exist for one another".

"Of course we exist. If we did not meet, it was because discretion was the better part of neighbourly relations. Secondly, who has the time to experiment befriending strangers? It’s an established fact that neighbours become enemies rather quickly for, as you know, enmity comes naturally to them".

"What a strange thesis! Don’t you believe in good neighbourliness?" I said.

"History teaches us that there is no such thing. Can you give me any example of good neighbourliness? Is India a good neighbour of Pakistan, or vice versa? Are Iran and Afghanistan good neighbours? Were Korea and Japan good neighbours ever? Have Russia and China been good neighbours? Is the United States a good neighbour of Cuba?"

"Stop it yaar! You shouldn’t take kajj bahsi to such ridiculous extremes. I thought we were simply discussing neighbourhood or neighbourly relations at a personal level. Tum Cuba aur Amreeka pahaunch gaye".

"Waisay ek baat hai", said Babboo with a twinkle in his eyes.

"What?"

"A neighbour is a more convenient enemy — if not a better one! If you were to choose your enemy you should look for him in your neighbourhood. In most cases this enmity can be more deep-rooted and lasting and is not based on maslehat… I mean, on impulse".

"What?"

"There are many ADVANTAGES of making neighbours your enemies. Having lived together, and possibly belonging to the same stock, you know them — some wise man has said, "know your enemy" — you are familiar with his habits, his strong and weak points; you have better accessibility and can manoeuvre your way through his territory as you know the terrain etc. Above all, it is cost effective and less time consuming — beside other logistical advantages…"

"Jo moonh mein aata hai buk detay ho. Do you realise what destruction you cause, how much collateral damage you inflict upon your neighbour when you go to war with him?"

"Part of the game!" said Babboo.

"Anyone with any modicum of decency would spare at least his neighbour", I tried to invoke some compassion in his heart for neighbours.

"Spare the neighbour? You mean I should go thousands of miles to make complete strangers my enemies? Height of stupidity! Have you forgotten how Lyndon Johnson made a fool of himself in Vietnam? In recent times, George Bush, who turned out to be a greater Lyndon Johnson, went to far off Iraq and Afghanistan to make enemies. Can you beat it? Na Khuda hi mila na wisal-i-sanam; Na idhar ke rahe na udhar ke rahe!"

"According to this logic, Russia, who made her next door neighbour Afghanistan her enemy was equally foolish. A few centuries ago, Babar, who invaded neighbourly Hindustan and established the Mughal Empire was equally stupid. Far or near, making enemies is not a good idea, yaar! Who told you one can’t live without an enemy?"

"How would there be any progress, then?" argued Babboo.

"Progress! What progress? Progress through making enemies? What the hell do you mean?"

"No country has prospered without making enemies. If you don’t make enemies your progress is stalled. Not only the people become complacent and timid, new opportunities for scientific and industrial development are lost too. Look at Germany and Japan — how they progressed after the World War II!" "But at what cost?" I screamed.

"Cost is immaterial", said Babboo calmly. "You have to pay a price for everything. Nothing comes for free. Was the Roman Empire established without paying a price? Was Rome built in a day?" "In this insane animosity racket, only innocent people suffer", I said sadly.

"Being innocent is the worst thing. Innocent people always suffer. It’s an irony that a large number of them are exported to planet earth with this defect. They must suffer for this manufacturing defect".

"Stop it yaar! For people like you Ghalib has already said: Huey tum dost jiske dushman uska aasman kyun ho!"

By arrangement with Dawn