:: Robin Sharma

Paradox of praise

Robin Sharma

May.29 : I was driving Colby to school and got an idea I want to share with you. We were talking about Everybody Loves Raymond, the television show my kids adore. In particular, we discussed the tension between Raymond’s (cranky) mother Marie, and Ray’s (loving) wife Deborah. Colby said they don’t like each other because Marie doesn’t like Deborah’s cooking.

I asked him to go deeper and to figure out the real issue. After we discussed it for a while, we both heard the coin drop: We got that the real reason Marie doesn’t like Deborah is that she feels threatened by the love between Deborah and her son Raymond. She’s insecure. Thinks she might lose him. So she’s hard on Deborah and has no praise for her. Ever.

Made me think about praise within the workplace (and within the home).

A rare commodity. Praise, to me, is like the sun: The more you give away, the more everything around you grows toward you. However, most people don’t give praise freely (even though it’s free). According to a Gallup Organisation survey, the number-one reason employees leave an organisation is that they don’t feel appreciated by their superviser. Yet, most managers give away neither praise nor appreciation. Because they think it makes them look inferior.

Here is the truth as far as I can tell: Giving praise to all those around you, when they most deserve it, makes you look like more. It elevates you.

It makes you look like a hero. It makes you look like a giant within the workplace. To everyone around you. So don’t withhold what your teammates most crave. We all want to feel special. I do. You do. And so does Deborah.

— Excerpted from The Greatness Guide 2 by Robin Sharma. Published by Jaico Publishing House, jaicopub@vsnl.com