:: Kishwar Desai

An iPod for the Queen & other G-20 frivolities

Kishwar Desai

April.4 : The G-20 meeting in London was all about smiling photo-opportunities in public and slightly more serious off-camera bilateral meetings — mostly with the messiah of the modern world, Barack Obama. The interesting part about the high-profile event was that all world leaders seemed to have flown thousands of miles solely to get their Obama orgasm. Each one of them had also escaped, temporarily, from the heat of their rising unpopularity back home, thanks to the recession. Even Gordon Brown, who is now languishing far behind in the polls, may have wished that Mr Obama’s popularity could have rubbed off on him. The grateful look on Mr Brown’s face every time he turned to Mr Obama spoke a million words.

And curiously, even Mr Obama may have enjoyed being away from the US, because though he has over 60 per cent approval ratings in his home turf, there is increasing criticism about his dealings with the financial crisis. Like Mr Brown earlier in the week, he may prefer to bask in the publicity of foreign climes, hoping that back home the cynical appraisals of his bailout proposals will die out following the united financial front. Meanwhile, in his desire to appear as the solver of the world’s problems, Mr Brown has been furiously travelling to various countries in the last few weeks, much to the bemusement of a perplexed British public who, despite all his relentless persuasion, cannot fathom why he does not stay at home and sort things out. Even the so-called show of strength among the world leaders in London has done little to reassure those who are facing job losses and home repossessions. It may provide the media a great spread of stories but the British public is unimpressed. It is similarly unmoved by the other world leaders who arrived this week because, frankly, unless the G-20 can immediately provide employment, who cares about banking reforms? Instead of re-financing inefficient bankers would it not be simpler to just set up new, smaller banks where we can all shift our money to?

While frustrated and angry protesters gathered outside in impotent demonstrations, the merry band of the G-20 spent £20 million of the world’s scarce resources in various dinners and meetings to sort out the current recession. About £7 million had been spent merely on the police bundobast. The unfortunate death of one anti-capitalist protester cast a further gloomy shadow and exacerbated public anger. But nothing stopped the G-20 wining and dining. Even though it was the low-cost Jamie Oliver who was asked to provide an unimaginatively cheap and cheerful all-British menu at 10 Downing Street — Scottish salmon, Welsh lamb and a very English tart and custard — people felt extremely let down that celebrations were going on while so many were suffering.

Is this the time for sombre thinking over the crisis or should we really be fulminating about who sat next to Mr Obama during the dinner? Unsurprisingly, even that was a story for the media and so was the fact that Nicolas Sarkozy, the French premier, arrived 10 minutes late, classified as a "snub" by some commentators. After all, he and Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, were the rebels without a pause in this international struggle for saving the world. They were the spoilers in Mr Brown’s party. But did anyone, apart from Mr Brown, really expect any results from the meeting?

Of more significance were the bilateral meetings on the side-lines, especially between Mr Obama and other leaders. The former has already accepted invitations to visit Russia and China during this summit. Even Prime Minister Manmohan Singh sought his moment with him. And what about the world economy? The reality is the government itself had begun to talk down expectations before the event. It was obvious that everyone wanted to play it safe. So now the question remains whether in this world of global technology, did we really want the spectacle of a 500-strong Team Obama physically landing in the UK? Couldn’t it all have been done through Facebook and Twitter?

Alright, alright — more seriously, when everyone is moving towards protectionism, do we need this charade of a global pact to save the world from leaders who are, in some cases, fast becoming extinct. All the grand announcements made this week will take their own time before being implemented, after all, and while the leaders may have taken on a self-congratulatory tone, everyone admits the recession will be a long, hard haul.

The other reason why the G-20 was frankly annoying was on the frivolity of bringing the spouses or wags (wives and girlfriends) along, perhaps solely to satisfy the media fixation with Michelle Obama and her wardrobe. Somehow the seriousness of the summit was diluted with photos of smiling wags — and even Sarah Brown wore a £9,000 bolero to compete with the American fashion onslaught. £9,000? Is it worth it? As one among the minority in the world who do not find Ms Michelle Obama’s choice of wardrobe either awesome or interesting, I cannot understand why she is such a fashion icon or even front-page material. However, when compared with some of the other wags naturally she begins to shine like a beacon of good taste. And during the extensive coverage of the wags, some unknown facts were also unearthed: According to one media report, our own Prime Minister’s wife, Gursharan Kaur, was reported to be a "celebrated traditional Indian singer". But one point is inescapable. Ms Kaur is certainly among the league of the better dressed in this motley collection of wags.

And, perhaps, the most important point discussed all week were the gifts exchanged between the golden couple of America and the less-revered British couple. The last time (when Mr Brown had gone to America) the great exchange of gifts had left several red faces. While for some reason frocks for the Obama girls from Topshop was considered a wonderful present (really?), plastic reproductions of Air Force One were not considered good enough by the British press for the Brown boys. Neither was a set of DVD movies given by Mr Obama to Mr Brown. This time, therefore, considerable time was spent discussing the present given by the Obamas to the Queen, when they met her before the G-20.

The Queen got a video iPod with pictures of her most recent visit to the US already loaded on it. While some were unable to fathom the relevance of the present, others clearly recognised the hidden message: it was very much like the G-20 — a purely symbolic gesture.

The writer can be contacted at kishwardesai@yahoo.com