:: Cyrus Broacha

When Kramnik cried and Anand did the jig

By Cyrus Broacha

I’ll never forget the scene. Vladimir Kramnik of Russia was behaving like a true sportsman. He was banging his fists on a table and crying in Russian. Although I must clarify that there is no such thing as crying in Russian. Crying is the same in any language, except maybe Puerto Rican, where it is often mistaken for laughing.

Kramnik was upset because he had just lost the World Chess trophy to Vishy Anand, who in turn lost it for five minutes as he had given it to a waiter in lieu of a tip. Luckily, the waiter well versed in the decorum aligned to sport, and moreover realising he wouldn’t get more than four euros for the crummy trophy decided to hand it right back. This led to a see-saw match with both Anand and the waiter trying to convince the other to keep the trophy. Watching this scene unfold Kramnik became even more disconsolate.

However, now that I’ve reached the middle of the piece, let me start at the beginning.

The place is Bonn in Germany. Don’t confuse this with Born in the US, which is a Bruce Springsteen track or Bone China which is crockery that tends to break when you play Bruce Springsteen tracks loudly. The setting is the World Chess Championship final, a best of 12 games format. If the two contenders are still tied, at 6 games each, at the end of this, they are then made to have a dance off. The first one to do the Hungarian Polka using only one leg is then traditionally nominated as the winner. Chess is, of course, known as the greatest sport in the world.

It is intriguing as the two contestants sit facing each other, without moving for hours, at a time, while playing the sport. This leads to many players falling in love with one another. This is something the chess body, which also goes by the name Chess Body, takes very seriously. In the frantic intense conflict only one finger is used. Thus experts rightly compare it to other popular pastime — picking of your nose. Critics though not to be fooled, also add that the one difference in picking of your nose is you don’t do it in front of a person sitting directly opposite you, unless of course the person happens to be your ex-spouse.

Anand and Kramnik entered the auditorium on Tuesday the 28th of October, to a packed house. They then realised they had come a day early, and went back to their hotels. Wednesday the 29th they returned to play the final game. As they entered the ring, Kramnik, ever the gentleman, gave Anand the traditional Russian greeting. This is done by sticking your tongue out and pulling your ears simultaneously. Anand did not retaliate, being a chivalrous Indian. Instead, as they were about to sit down, he broke in an impromptu jig.

Much to Kramnik’s chagrin it was a perfect rendition of the Hungarian Polka and yes, incredibly on just one leg!

The two men were dressed impeccably in bright shirts, with matching coats. Neither wore pants. Whilst Anand’s was too starchy, Kramnik apparently had to sell his to get the damn coat. Anand played white, Kramnik opted for orange. When he was told that there was no orange in chess, Kramnik cried for the first time and reluctantly played black.

In a few minutes it was all over. Anand ever the gentleman refused to belittle his opponent. Instead he ran circles around Kramnik, accompanied by the Tamil super hit song Apiidi Pode. Then, in a final act of chivalry, Anand ordered drinks for the crowd and sent the bill to the fallen Kramnik.

Let’s salute India’s greatest sportsman and send a little something each... for the pants.