Valentine valour

A young boy came to a shop to return a gaudy T-shirt he had happily bought the week before. His reason: “My girlfriend doesn’t like it.” Days later he returned to buy back the same T-shirt. The shopkeeper asked: “Has your girl changed her mind ” “No,” replied the youth, “I’ve changed the girl.”

Today, many people ditch friends for the flimsiest of excuses, while love, sex, friendship and marriage are treated as marketable commodities that can be priced, purchased, tasted and dumped. Our attitudes are often influenced by the media. Valentine’s Day, which we celebrate on February 14, has also become victim of media commercialisation.

Sadly, this feast often results in a tug-of-war between youth who wish to express love for their sweethearts and fanatics for whom love and sex are absolutely a no-no.

The origins of Valentine’s Day are obscure since there are neither one nor two, but three Saint Valentines whose lives are connected with this feast: (a) a Roman priest (b) a bishop of Terni in Italy and (c) a little-known saint who was martyred in Africa. To impute deeper meaning to this feast, let’s see what is common to all three.

“Valentine” comes from the Latin root valens, meaning valiant, strong and worthy, which could refer to moral, religious, physical or political strength. The three Valentines were martyrs who sacrificed their lives to promote the lives of others. Therein lay their virtue.

They were of strong faith, worthy of honour and valiant in putting others’ welfare before their own conveniences.

Valentine of Rome secretly blessed marriages despite a ban by Emperor Claudius who held that unmarried men made better soldiers. Valentine of Terni was martyred because he refused to give up his faith. Legend has it that he restored the sight of his jailor’s blind daughter, and that on the day he was executed he left her a note signed “Your Valentine”.

While Valentine’s Day has accumulated layers of romance, myths of matchmaking and the giving of gifts, we could perhaps strive to imbibe the virtues of Valentine by being strong in faith, worthy of the love we receive, and valiant in promoting the life of others even if it results in inconveniences, self-sacrifice and, ultimately, martyrdom.

In one of the finest teachings on love, Apostle Paul writes: “Love is patient, kind, not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way. Love rejoices in truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”

Since true love never ends, even if we celebrate Valentine’s Day only once a year, may the God of love help us to love everyone unconditionally and unlimitedly, every day.

Francis Gonsalves is a professor of theology. He can be contacted at fragons@gmail.com