Flaws of attraction

Arjan Bajwa may have had a charmed childhood but he grew up to make tough choices and face the climb with tenacity, also because Bollywood is not a fairy-tale of herodom but an upward climb. When you see him in a film like Rustam, you  find him shining throughout, leaving a lasting impression as the anti-hero, romancing the heroine in an extramarital affair sort of a setup. The chemistry was palpable and he seemed totally attracted to her Indianness — soft and delicate.

Well, is that what attracts the quintessential Indian man? “An ideal woman understands that a man lives and works in tough situations, and he wants to come back to love and harmony, not a battleground,” he explains, adding, “I’m attracted to a woman who doesn’t spend her time trying to be a man or proving that she’s better than a man. I mean why can’t some of these feminist types understand we Indians worship women as our goddesses and deities — whether as mother Mary or as Devi!”

I enjoyed the suave villain that he plays in the film Rustum, but that was set in 1959. In 2016, opinions differ. What is his take on relationships that are mutually accepted with no necessary matrimonial commitments, one night stands, his sense of judgement about what’s right and what’s the wrong? “I think physical intimacy or sex is made out to be a larger than life word or considered a taboo or even a ‘sin’. However, it is the most important and satisfying experience that all living beings go through. If given a chance, we could even say that the earth rotates on this word. Isn’t it fascinating that everything in this world ultimately boils down to it? For evolution, it’s the most natural process and I feel there should be no stigma attached to the natural course of human attraction. It’s everywhere. And yet in today’s times I find that there is that feeling that one has to wait for marriage,” he explains.

 Arjan feels that two people who are in love are bound to follow nature with or without any social limitation. He adds that he finds it funny when people talk about other people’s sex lives.

“When two strangers get married and don’t have sex on the first night of being together, people talk again! I think in this day and age let’s not make it a big issue as it’s normal. There are much bigger issues and challenges that the human race faces that needs to be the concern of society,” he says. For Arjan, relationships constitute an important part of his growth. But he feels strongly that they take a long time to form, so even if it’s not working out, he is always keen to move away with harmony and friendship.

One should not break the bonds of friendship even if the chemistry doesn’t work. And his life philosophy also conforms to the same thought process where things may or may not always work toward success. But one needs to keep getting up and trying without acrimony and bitterness. Success is about getting up and going ahead after a fall, not giving up.