Daddy on duty

Life coaches suggest tips to be a hands-on, stay-at-home-dad, and let your wife bask in the glory of her success...

Taking kids to school, cooking a meal, and picking the laundry are some tasks one would often associate with a housewife. However, a simple sign of the modern changing trend is when the roles are reversed and the daddy pitches in with house work. Recently reports speculated that Beyonce’ rapper husband Jay-Z is going to be a stay-at-home daddy to their four-year-old daughter Blue Ivy Carter. As Beyonce’s career explodes, Jay-Z may choose to put his career on a back burner and care for their child. Closer home, relationship experts feel that charting out the role dad will play at home always helps. Relationship counsellor Dr Rajan Bhosle says, “It’s always great to set egos aside and, plan a life together. With proper execution and planning, I have seen instances where such decisions actually work. There are issues that crop up but couples need to fine tune their understanding. The biggest challenge that the husband may face here is the ego,” he explains.

Constant support from spouses helps relationships get over initial hiccups in such arrangements, suggests psychotherapist and relationship expert Dr Kashish Chhabria, “A relationship where partners understand each other, especially where the husband keeps his ego aside to care for the child, remains happy in the long run. The husband also needs to find a way where he can constantly engage himself and not feel useless about just being home. He needs to make sure he’s working from home and keep himself occupied. It won’t take time for ego battles to set in, otherwise” she adds.

A challenge the father may face is lack of an inherent sense of responsibility. They may not be hands-on in their job and a constant backlash from the wife may lead to conflicts. “Couples should have a well chalked out plan and decide on a non interference clause for the household,” says life coach, Priya Kumar. “The husband should be allowed to run the house according to his skills, and the wife should be the bread-winner. When the roles are reversed, there are chances that the husband may feel a loss of identity, but this can be prevented with emotional support from the wife and family. It’s always good for the child to have either of the parents around, than have none.”

While the task may seem to be daunting, one can always seek help from co-fathers! “The husband has to be smart and compassionate and could even join a group of stay-at-home-daddies and discuss with them the challenges other fathers face, as well as seek help. Being emotionally strong and loving towards his duty will help,” asserts Kashish.