Just taking the piss

With the HC and CBFC seeing red over rockstar Shahid’s peeing scene in Udta Punjab, we speak to musicians about some of their wild on-stage escapades.

After courting much controversy, Udta Punjab has been let off the hook by the Bombay High Court with just one cut. It’s the scene that shows Shahid Kapoor, who plays a rockstar named Tommy Singh, urinating on stage, in front of a crowd of hundreds. The scene that seems to be too much to handle for the HC and the CBFC, is, as gig regulars would tell you, just another rockstar antic, more common than one would imagine.

From the legendary Jim Morrison exposing himself on stage (1969) to the maverick Ozzy Osbourne biting the head off a live bat during a gig (1982), stage escapades of artistes can get way more crazy than simply peeing on stage. A band notorious for their theatrics is Black Lips, a garage rock act from the US, whose shows almost always feature nudity and urination. When the band toured India back in 2009, they courted trouble with the law when Cole Alexander, the band’s guitarist stripped down and jumped into the crowd, getting back on the stage only to make out with the other band members. Members of another Ethiopian band named Krar Collective broke into simulated lovemaking while performing on stage in Ooty in 2012, informs an attendee.

While Indian bands, are not known to go as wild as their international counterparts, who go as far as even pleasuring themselves on stage, our desi boys have their fair share of fun with condoms and even underwear being thrown at them on stage. Girish ‘Bobby’ Talwar of Zero recounts an instance where a group of people purchased the cheapest bras and panties they could find, and hurled them on stage while the band played. “A bra was thrown at me during the gig,” says Bobby with a laugh. “I think it was one of the regulars who got it. I hung it on my bass and played the rest of the set that way.”

Playing pranks on the audience as well as band members themselves is another favourite of metal artistes. Riju Dasgupta, of the now-defunct comedy rock band Workshop, recounts a prank the guys played on their drummer Hamza Kazi. “While Hamza was playing a drum solo, the rest of us guys just walked off the stage, took a cab and left the venue,” he says.

Another favourite is to crowd-surf, informs Nitin Malik of Parikrama. “Many years ago, during Independence Rock, Subir (Malik, the keyboard player) decided to pull an Eddie Vedder and jumped into the crowd. The audience happily obliged but the security guards held him back in a bear hug so he would not go on stage and ‘disturb the band’,” Nitin laughs as he recounts the incident. “It took a lot of vigorous pointing and head nodding to let the security guy understand Subir was a part of the band.” Quiz him on what makes musicians and otherwise mild-mannered rockstars take on a bold and daring persona on stage, and Nitin says, “It’s not a conscious decision taken by musicians. It’s the craziness of the moment that makes you do things on stage that you normally wouldn’t do.”

Co-founder of music festival NH7, Arjun Ravi reminisces, “I have literally hundreds of stories of bands messing around on stage. Just at NH7 we have innumerable instances of them going crazy. I’ve seen Ameeth Thomas from Junkyard Groove, shirtless, climbing trusses at college festivals.” He also mentions an incident where bands decided to extend their stage presence to making political statements. “A shirtless Garreth D’Mello of Split ranted about former cop Vasant Dhoble while jumping around Blue Frog, eventually getting the band banned from the venue.” The same gig saw guitarist Melroy D’Mello taping shut Garreth’s mouth with a scotch tape and going on to smash an acoustic guitar to pieces at the end of the night.

The antics are just a regular part of the scene, say concert attendees. As part of NH7’s organising team, Arjun says that they don’t usually warn bands or musicians to mind their behaviour on stage. “There’s definitely no list of rules or guidelines we give the bands about what to do on stage. I mean we used to manage Pentagram,” he guffaws.

Pentagram, by itself, has been known for having a stage presence that the audience would remember for years. While frontman of the band-turned Bollywood musician Vishal Dadlani is known for bringing street children on stage to sing along with the band, his temper while performing is stuff of legends too. An eyewitness recounts an incident that happened back in 2004. “Pentagram was performing and Vishal lost his cool when a bunch of people in the crowd started to boo him,” he says. “He was so angry that he hurled the mic stand at the audience, leaving a boy with a swollen face. Vishal apologised to the boy later, of course.”

Karthik Nanda of the now-defunct band, Decibel says that engaging with the crowd can look a little weird to a new entrant. “Any outsider would probably be shocked at even the mildest thing that goes on at gigs. We indulge in abusing the crowd and the crowd abuses us back, it’s the way it has always been and that actually helps us connect with them,” he points out.

Sahil Makhija of Demonic Ressurection shrugs the Udta Punjab controversy aside and says that the scene showing Shahid urinating should’ve probably stayed in the movie. “It’s stupid. It’s a movie; he’s taking a piss. If you can pee on the road and take a dump on the railway tracks, I don’t see how that scene would be offensive to anyone or become obscene,” he rants. “I think it’s more obscene that half the country doesn’t have a toilet,” Sahil signs off.

Girish Talwar (left) Zero

A bra was thrown at me during the gig by one of the regulars. I hung it on my bass and played the rest of the set that way.

Nitin Malik Parikrama

Our keyboard player Subir (Malik) decided to crowd-surf, but the security guard wouldn’t let him back on the stage because he didn’t believe Subir was in the band.